I got nothing.

Nothing but bitchin and complaining.  You see, this all started the other day as I was flying through the house in a cleaning frenzy.  Big Daddy left with the tornado twins and I was trying to capitalize on my freedom.  Some Moms would read a book or take a bath.  Yeah, I guess I'm just stupid like that.  So anyway, things just started to piss me off and my mind was writing this post as my hands were scrubbing.  So here we go.  It all started in the bathroom. 

Please tell me who's bright idea it was to design the bottom of the toilet to look like a very large man's lower intestine? 

Not only is it unattractive, it is a bitch to clean.  For those of you who have males in the house, you know that everything gets covered in pee.  If they wanted to be clever with a toilet design, how about a bullseye inside?  One that glows in the dark.  One that you can slide a picture into.  One that has a flashing neon light.  These are the thoughts that go through my head as I'm on my knees trying to get the thing clean.  Not to mention that this is one of those new water saving devices, you know the one, you have to flush at least three times just to get rid of one little three inch turd.

So what's a Big Daddy that hates flushing over and over to do?  He goes out and gets the Big Daddy Toilet.  You know the one..you've seen the commercial...

We all know who came up with that idea at the ad agency.  It damn sure wasn't the woman who had to call the plumber and then stare at his ass crack whilst he fixed the problem.

Well turns out it's not that one exactly.  Oh, it flushes it all - in one swoosh - but there is a problem that just irks me to no end.  The tank sits a good three to four inches from the wall.  This means that if you try to sit anything on top of the tank, it falls through the crack and behind the toilet.  It also is sloped forward, so if it doesn't fall behind it falls forward and slaps you in the back. 

Another brilliant design, but it does flush on the first try!  Moving on to the kitchen, we have a refrigerator that is less than two years old and guess what?  The ice dispenser is already broken - and we don't even use it very much!  My parents still have the damned fridge we used when we were kids!  It still runs and keeps extra stuff cold.  Is everything made to be disposable?  Does nothing last anymore?

And why is it that you can open the door and see this...a full load of everything imaginable.  

BUT, someone who shall remain unnamed, will still stare in with a glazed over look and say "there is never anything to eat in here."  Huh?  Same thing over here in the pantry...not a thing to eat. 

Here is the most irritating design of all...the dryer lint trap on top of the dryer. 

Every time you pull the thing out to de-lint it, dust, lint and general nastiness flies everywhere.  It coats the top of the dryer, the washer, swirls about and into your nose. WTF?  I hate that.

And why, oh why, does my desk ALWAYS look like this?  Damn, double damn. 

I need a maid, a laundress, a cook, and a personal assistant.  Anybody wanna volunteer?  That's right, it's a volunteer position.  I sure as hell have not received a paycheck yet. 

Whew!  Glad I got that off my chest!  Which is not great either, just sayin'.

Look for the Easter picture parade this weekend!