Every year when posting my Thanksgiving post, I always try to say how thankful I am for the fact that all my family and friends are healthy and happy. I will admit, however, that I’ve wondered when the fickle finger of fate would appear and decimate our winning streak. 2010 has presented itself as the year that fate showed up in a awful, nasty way.
As I have alluded to in previous posts, our family has received news that has shaken us to the core. My younger sister Lori was diagnosed with malignant melanoma cancer. I will not re-live every step that has included several scary diagnoses, several surgeries and most the month of July spent with her enduring treatments. Just know that each step has been mind numbing for us and devastating for her.
I want to go back to the beginning. That first visit to the Dermatologist. That first look on his face when he said “I do not like the way that looks.” The offensive spot was diagnosed and as a precaution some lymph nodes were tested to be sure everything was contained.
There was a teeny tiny trace…so minute that the lab ran a special “stain” to pinpoint the issue. This was the test that sent Lori, her Dr. and everyone else into another layer of disbelief. Melanoma, you see, is not curable. It is aggressive and once on the move, does not care what you do… you can’t stop it or kill it. All the pretty pink ribbons you see for breast cancer….yeah, they have a ribbon for melanoma…it’s black. So Lori asks the question…”What if I had waited to get it checked?” “You would have lasted less than a year” was the response.
That kind of statement makes you think. It makes you think about all kinds of crazy shit. Then one day I started to think about that lab report. I started thinking about that lab person who went the extra mile to run the extra test to find the teeny tiny stain of cancer cells hiding in one little lymph node.
I have no idea who this person is. Male, female, white, black, old, young, single, married, a mom, a dad, brother, sister? I have no idea how to picture the person who is ultimately responsible for saving my sister’s life. Then I think, what if this person had a headache that day, or a hangover, or got in a fight with their spouse or had a sick child at home. An infinite number of things could have distracted this person, but that didn’t happen. And while most of us do not have people’s lives literally in the palm of our hand and depending on our abilities, we are all indirectly responsible for hundreds if not thousands of people every day.
We stumble through our days never noticing that every step we make impacts others. You got up late, are you speeding to get to work on time, gunning it at every yellow light? No, on time? Are you texting while driving? Did you hop in your car and drive yourself home after having “a couple” of beers after work or let someone else drive that was clearly unable? How about little things that are not life threatening but can still effect someone else. Holding a door for someone, handing a stranger a handful of coupons that you can’t use as you leave the grocery store or calling a friend who’s having a hard time; instead of just typing a :-( on their Facebook post.
Anyway, you get the point. I have no way to repay this anonymous person who ultimately saved my family from a lifetime of grief. So I’ll just pay it forward. Do something nice for someone else. Pay attention, even if my life is a complete disaster. Whoever you are, you have my eternal thanks. If you only knew what a special person you saved.
So her treatments are over. PET scan clear. Everything seems to be on the right track and we are ever so grateful for that. As far as I’m concerned that’s that. The End. We will not entertain any other option.
I will say this, Lori ignored something that deep down she knew was not right and it almost killed her. Trust your instincts and get things checked. And for the love of God, stay out of tanning beds. It’s not worth it. If you really think they are safe, I suggest you read something other than the brochures and magazine that they have in the waiting room of the tanning salon. There, preaching over. It’s your life.
Since I could do nothing to change the outcome of anything Lori had to endure, I did what I am good at, creativity. The boys and I greeted her as she exited the cancer center after her last treatment with balloons and a t-shirt with a special logo created especially for her.
To you Lori,
my beautiful baby sister, THANK YOU for not giving up and fighting to stay around. While this may be a slightly insane bunch,
we would be lost without you. I Love You!
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