Life to the MAX

Beach Turkeys 2010

2011-10-28T11:33:00.001-04:00

It’s that time of year again…time to pack up the Turkeys and head South! Mexico Beach and the El Governor awaits! On tap this year… five days of gorgeous weather in the mid-seventies! Tom Turkey was so excited!

Yes, folks the weather Gods decided to reward us this year!

This time, I have my “toy” and the annual Christmas Card Photo Shoot should be a breeze…right? Another bonus this year…we have company…the other Maxwell Brood…John, Amy, Brandon, Joe and Charlie.

Not much to tell really. With this kind of weather you do two things, beach it,

swim in the pool, and take photographs…hundreds of photographs. We did have one out of the ordinary excitement. Joe…this Joe

pulled this prize shell out of the surf. As you can see, this was no ordinary shell…it was occupied. And it didn’t take long to find out by whom… there was a lot of jumping around, squealing, running, and yelling but I managed to get a picture of the occupant…

isn’t he cool?! Unfortunately for him, Joe had no intentions of leaving this beach without the prize shell. I’m sorry to say that little octopus was evicted and was sent back in to search for a new home. I sure hope he didn’t get eaten before he found a new place. It was a very exciting turn of events.

Turkey Day brought another warm and sunny opportunity to enjoy the beach. After a brief family meeting, it was decided that turkey sandwiches would be good enough. We would stay at the beach and forego any big meal that would require getting dressed, in the van, and wasting valuable beach time. It was a good plan and very fulfilling, in a non-food kinda way.

So, back to the task at hand…the Christmas Card shoot. My problem this year was that I had no plan. No props, no fancy outfits, no creative idea whatsoever. This makes my job even harder. And in addition to that, I had a whole other family to photograph. Another problem, the weather was so nice it was almost impossible to get the turkeys off the beach and to the room with enough time to get cleaned up and clothed and back down to the beach for a sunset photo shoot. I did drag out the old Santa hats shtick for one evening

but for some reason it just wasn’t satisfying me. Since I had “others” there that could get me out from behind the camera, I was hoping for a family shot of some kind. The next evening we went for that… I got some really great shots of John and Amy’s crew

but was still not satisfied with any of ours. It was very windy and not at all ideal for my very difficult hair…

of course the boys photographed well, as usual…

The next day would be our last shot, literally. During a trip to the room for a snack, as I munched on the balcony, I had this vision

and thought if nothing else I could create a collage of single photographs as a last resort. I had that, just in case the last shoot was unsuccessful. The moment had arrived and the sun sent it’s beautiful fading light to assist me. Brandon discovered, while trying to get the family shot I so desired, that the toy was fun and he enjoyed his time behind the lens…and he did get the shot!

but I didn’t know that until much later. As the light got warmer and warmer so did the pictures

and after awhile insanity started to settle over the Maxwell boys.

Then the sun, having accomplished it’s job for the day, dropped below the horizon and that was the end of that.

The last shot before dark…

and it was over for another year. Not a moment too soon for both Maxwell clans who were suffering from photographic over exposure. All that was left to do was pack it up and head for home. And we did.

Once home, the daunting task of creating the card loomed. I was torn between two designs and in the end, created both. Most received this one…

but a few of you got the bigger family shot.

Whichever one you received, I hope you liked it!

It was a wonderful Thanksgiving and I had much to be thankful for this year. I’m mostly thankful that 2010 is almost over and we can start fresh in 2011. Hopefully, it will be the year of big things to come!

Musical Munchkins

2010-11-18T23:41:00.000-05:00

As much as we love music, Joe especially, it would be ridiculous to think that our kids would be immune. From the time they were old enough, he has constantly introduced them both to the world of music. Out of the blue he would show up with drums, bongos, maracas and even a pint sized guitar for Seager one Christmas. Every evening after work, he turns on the tunes and he and the boys bond…singing, dancing and just listening to music. So, now that they are finally old enough to begin a real musical journey, they have taken to it like moths to flame.

Since private lessons are quite pricey, I was able to find a wonderful homeschool group called the Joyful Noise Band. We attend once per week and they offer everything from a pre-school Noisemakers class and beginner lessons in reading music and playing recorder all the way up to jazz band, marching band and orchestra opportunities.

Dagon is a little Noisemaker and Seager is learning to read music and play the recorder. I am happy to report that Seager is doing exceptional in both of his endeavors. He is also in the kids chorus – more about that later.

Since they started in September, they have both progressed faster than anticipated. To showcase their accomplishments, the Fall Recital Program was the big event. First up was Dagon.

He and his entire class

took the atrium stage and showcased what they have been learning. Lots of percussion and showmanship

They then pulled out the heavy equipment, the bells,

and performed their version of Jingle Bells in anticipation of the upcoming Holidays.

The stage was then transformed into a concert setup and it was time for Seager’s musical debut. But not before I forced him outside for a little photo shoot. And who could blame me…he was wearing concert attire!

This was an interesting pose… a little awkward…

After enduring me and my toy, he was ready to get down to business.

He and his classmates did a fabulous show!

Fans from near

far (you didn’t think Mamaw would miss this did you?) and even a Cow showed up to enjoy the performances!

The next night was the big one! The children’s chorus production of Stone Soup. It was a musical and Seager sang several songs with the group and even had some lines in the story.

They gave us a most enjoyable performance and took their bows.

Seager stated that he enjoys playing his music, but he is not so sure about his acting debut. He has the rest of the year and another stage performance to decide if he will be going the Broadway route. We’ll see after his Spring stage production.

So it’s been a smooth start to our musical endeavors. The Joyful Noise people are great to work with and they really love the kids. This story will continue next Spring when we finish the year with more concerts and productions.

BOO x Two

2010-11-03T00:44:00.000-04:00

It would seem that 2010 is a great year for all things Spooky (if nothing else). Why you ask? Well, because Halloween is on Sunday. Why you ask, again? Well, because any devout Southerner knows that you just can’t celebrate the most devilish day of the year on the good Lord’s day.

Of course I think that is complete and utter horse ~~shit~~ hockey, but I’m no ~~ghoul~~ fool…that means we get to trick-or-treat twice…and that means twice the chocolate that Mommy can steal from her little Mummy! The Zombie…he has no intention of giving up anything that remotely smells like candy and that’s just the way it is.

Not only did we do it twice, we did it in two different States! Our good buddy Mr. Ruttka ( you remember him, I’m sure) has the good fortune of celebrating his birthday on All Hallow’s Eve; and this year was the big 4-0 which means only one thing…road trip to Birmingham! Alabama, which completely qualifies as a backward Southern state, had the same devilish controversy going on over there. So, Saturday was to be trick-or-treat and insane Birthday party and Sunday was to be the trip home and trick-or-treat part two at home. I thought it was a brilliant plan and it just so happens that it was.

Upon our arrival into B’ham on Friday, we were instructed to stop at the Cantina. Seager showed off his Hispanic Halloween look.

Saturday was spent making the Ruttka house look spooky, wandering the streets with hundreds of little goblins

and then the fun commenced. It was, very appropriately, a costume party and most everyone arrived costumed in some way or another. My goblins were the scariest

and the Ruttka goblins were the cutest…as it should be.

There were lots of shots like this…

I went to bed fairly early but had a very difficult time getting any sleep. There was a lot of noise, especially from Little Red Riding Hood and the Big, BAD Wolf (don’t ask.)

Morning arrived soon thereafter and we packed up the walking dead and headed back to our own Southern hell. We called up Cave Man and verified that his subdivision had chosen to celebrate on the correct night despite the looming devil. These two…

joined Mikayla and Mya for a beautiful evening wandering the streets in search of ~~blood~~ sugar laced crap. And then it was over. Nothing left to do but sort, trade and eat yourself into a chocolate induced coma. (me, not them). We lived to tell about it and I liked Halloween on Sunday…and Saturday! Until next year…BOO!

A Tropical Celebration

2010-10-27T00:42:00.000-04:00

Ten Years. It’s been ten years since that tropical evening of wedding frivolity. (Still talked about as one of the best weddings ever…thank you very much!)

We’ve lost a lot but gained so much more. This was the decade that Joe and I morphed from the unencumbered, traveling, entrepreneur newlyweds to the more settled and reserved married with children. While we only shifted a little on the entrepreneur part, there were two major changes that changed our course a bit…first a Seager and then a Dagon. For me, years of breastfeeding and diapers, sleepless nights and just plain old exhaustion has settled into a more manageable lifestyle…thank God. This turn of events has left me with a peace that I can finally leave the boys without worry and guilt. So, to celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary and the partial return of a long missed me, Joe and I decided it was time to pack our bags, get on a plane without the +2 and go on a long overdue, romantic trip. Could we really afford it…no. Did we deserve and need it…most definitely!

With a glowing recommendation to work with, we chose the El Dorado Seaside on the Mayan Riviera in Mexico. So we shipped the boys to Mamaw and Papoo’s and became a childless couple again. I will admit it was very weird at first for me. Joe had been on several trips to Costa Rica without the kids so it wasn’t as shocking for him except for the fact that I was tagging along and he was unable to enjoy his newfound style of traveling…no reservations, no plans…go where the wind blows you. That may work for a group of guys in Costa Rica but I’m a planner, call me crazy. Finally, we arrive…here…

The place was absolutely gorgeous and very tropical (heaven in my book)! After getting a tropical drink,

We quickly checked out the signature amenity of the property…the beach beds! King size, tiki hut covered beds. Lots of them…everywhere…on the beach, in the palms, in the bushes, by the pools…if you wanted to hide you were in luck!

Now I know I’ve died and crossed over into my version of heaven! We had a wonderful dinner and settled in early to recover from our day of traveling. The next morning, we strolled the beautiful grounds and went in search of some advice on things to do. Joe wanted to go fishing

and I gladly sent him solo. I wanted to park my butt in a beach chair, in the partial shade of a palm tree, and do absolutely nothing.

And I did. Joe later questioned me about my day and was completely confused by the fact that I sat there all day and didn’t say a word (by choice) to anyone except the lovely senorita who asked me if I wanted another drink. And NO ONE called me Mommy. Aahhhh! Paradise! Towards the end of the day I ventured to the room to get cleaned up for Joe’s return. I entered the room to find a little surprise…candles,

a bubble bath

and some smooching swans swimming on the bed! Joe also enjoyed numerous surprises upon his return! Later, much later, we headed to dinner. Joe had presented the chef with his catch of the day and we enjoyed a special dinner served to us by the chef himself. It was a delicious ending to a great day.

We decided to pick one excursion to enjoy on this trip and we chose well. In all of our previous visits to the Mayan Riviera, I have always wanted to visit a cenote and that was our first stop. Tak Be Ha is one of the connecting underground, fresh water caverns (cenotes) located in the jungles of Akumal.

We donned wetsuits and snorkels and descended into an unbelievable cavern filled with stalactites and stalagmites, bats and the freshest, clearest water you will ever see.

I was very nervous at first, about the freezing water number one and number two the general weirdness of snorkeling in a cave lit only by some halogen lights. BUT, once in (brrrr) I quickly adjusted and was dumb founded at the beauty lurking underneath.

It was like viewing a whole different world. Just amazing and were so lucky to have experienced it!

We then headed out to snorkel with the turtles, here

at Akumal Bay. Yeah, that didn’t suck either. Great excursion from start to finish!

We made the most out of our brief visit to this wonderful resort. We snorkeled and relaxed,

talked to a lot of young honeymooners from all over the world

and dressed up every night for a gourmet meal at swanky restaurants.

On our final night, we had drinks with some new found friends, took some pictures and headed out to one of these at the far end of the beach

(please picture one of these at night, nestled amongst the palm trees, under an almost full moon and no one…and I mean no one, around.) We were far enough away to be alone but still hear the music coming from the outdoor bar. We spent that last evening in the sky bed, gazing at the moon and enjoying each other, as it should be. Doesn’t that sound romantic? Yeah, the real story is at some point we both fell asleep and Joe woke me up snoring so we reluctantly headed to our room and our comfortable, unsandy bed. Old farts. It happens.

Morning came and I cried through breakfast and felt extreme guilt for doing so. What kind of Mother would do that? I had not had enough of the service, the relaxation, the romance and the lack of some little person needing me 24 hours a day. But reality always has a way of bringing me clarity. So I dried up my tears and we headed back to the airport and back to our boys. I did, however, make a vow that we wouldn’t wait another 10 years before escaping for a little grown-up getaway.

I couldn’t have been happier with this resort. Joe was happy, but somewhat bored because it was mostly honeymooners who kept to themselves pretty much. I think he was quite restless with so much down time and not many folks to talk to. I’m not sure if he would repeat this resort but me…I’d go again in a nano second!

So Happy Anniversary to us…10 Years… it doesn’t seem possible but apparently it is. I wonder what the next 10 will be like?

Low Flying Angels

2010-10-15T00:42:00.000-04:00

Big Daddy has a healthy obsession with jets and daydreams of traveling on his own one day. He frequently takes the boys to the local airport to watch the private jets come and go. So, when we heard that the Blue Angels were coming to town…we made absolute plans to be present for such a special treat. And what a treat it was…a brilliant blue, cloudless sky was the perfect backdrop for this demonstration of skill and power. I, of course, brought the toy and a lot of uncertainty about my abilities to capture the feelings we get when watching these guys show us their stuff. I worried for nothing…I got lots of wonderful shots. Dagon loves it too, as long as Daddy brings him ear protection!

We were treated to several different displays before the Angels went up. The Canadian equivalent of the Angels were stunning in their white and red jets against the blue sky.

We also enjoyed some high flying hijinks and massive displays of USA military power.

Then the excitement started to build as you saw an oversized hint of what was coming

and then heard the engines start up and within moments the Angels were flying!

The training and discipline that these pilots display make me so thankful that they belong to us and so proud to be an American! As always, I am in awe.

PCB Rebound

2010-10-01T00:43:00.000-04:00

Since our May PCB trip was ever so strange we decided that a “do over”was needed…. we’ll use any excuse to head South. Fall, like the late Spring, is a perfect time to hit the Beach. Sheeple are back to school and we once again have the beach to ourselves, more or less. That’s the Way, uh huh uh huh, We Like It, uh huh, uh huh! I sing a little KC tune because we had a certain someone joining us for this adventure…someone who loves KC, loves the beach, and LOVES the two little beach bums….yep, Mamaw!

And for a limited, 24 hour engagement, some other Maxwells, Steve, Gina, Christopher and Heather joined us. We arrived to more clouds than sun so we did the appropriate thing and headed straight for the beach and WAVES! Mamaw and Dagon were the first surfers in!

Seager, Christopher and Heather followed.

PCB does not always have waves…but this day was different!

As the afternoon progressed the clouds eventually faded away revealing a beautiful rainbow and the moon.

Yep, there it was, right there under the rainbow. Weird, but cool. We spent the rest of that day enjoying the beach, under the watchful eye of the moon. Day one…complete success despite a cloudy start.

Day two, after a lovely, and uneventful, breakfast, we bid farewell to the 24 hour Maxwells and proceeded to enjoy our private resort. It seem as if we had the place to ourselves…I was thrilled…Big Daddy, not so much. He loves the buzz of conversations to eaves drop on and the possibility of meeting someone that is mildly interesting or clinically insane. Doesn’t matter to him, as long as they will chit chat he just doesn’t care. So the social butterfly was reduced to this…

and this….

and this…

in fact, I don’t think I have ever seen him sit in one spot for that long…ever. I’m thinking the Universe knew that he probably needed some down time and boy did he get it!

Since Mamaw was in attendance, she got most of the attention from the Boys. It was nice to have an extra pair of eyes to watch them, meaning I could relax a little too!

They know that she always has snacks and ALWAYS has a cup with a straw and something very tasty inside!

We hung by the pool

and the hot tub

and after dinner returned to the beach for our sunset ritual. These pictures were not taken with my “toy” because I was too ~~lazy~~ relaxed after dinner to walk to the room and fetch it. See the difference?

Seager got to play photographer too!

Day two…relaxing! Day three…Waterpark Photoshoot! I think they are finally getting the idea of standing still for the photographer. Seager is becoming quite the model

and since it’s always monkey see-monkey do with the two of them, Dagon decided it was his turn to pose. Unfortunately, Seager was determined to sabotage Dagon’s moment in the sun.

and as you can see it didn’t go well. Luckily for Dagon, Mommy is a whiz at photo editing!

And so the battle began…

and continued

until Splash swam in and created a diversion!

We cleaned up and headed for the early bird dinner specials so we could get back for sunset. I had met a lovely woman earlier who I offered to photograph. She was eight months pregnant and I really wanted to create some beautiful pictures for her and her family at sunset. I was NOT disappointed! The sunset was perfectly beautiful and so was she!

The lower the sun got, the more dramatic the photos…gorgeous!

I ended day three having filled my creative quota for the day – plus some! And I also prevented World War III…barely.

Day four, our last full day, brought an unprecedented surprise! As rough as the ocean was on day one …this day was the complete opposite. Crystal, and I mean CRYSTAL clear and calm water of the bluest blues insisted that we head to the beach and stay there, all day! These conditions call for three things…more photographs

~~para~~ sky sailing and

snorkeling

This was the most fun of all! The water was so clear you could see the fish swimming around your legs and crabs and other creatures moving about…even a baby stingray! You will notice not many other humans in the water. While we were fascinated by the underwater wildlife, several people entered and then quickly exited the water, screeching, after feeling the little fish grazing their legs or glimpsing a creature. Wimps! Day four ended up being a school day with lots of hands on educational fun…they didn’t even know they were in school. We’ll call it Beach Schooling!

Then it happened, as it always does, day five. I was awakened early with the sniffling of tears and disappointment, not me (but I was considering it) but Seager. It would appear that Mamaw escaped to enjoy her last morning at the beach with a sunrise stroll…alone! And Seager was devastated. Now most people know that I am NOT a morning person but not my weeping firstborn child. The only answer was to get up, get dressed and escort the child to the beach in search of his Mamaw.

I’ll have to admit, it was quite lovely out there but not as lovely as my warm, dream filled snoozing. (I have my best dreams in the morning hours) Anyway, the missing Mamaw was located

and all was right with the world, well Seager’s anyway. I still had to get everything packed and loaded. Uggg.

We decided to spend one last hour by the pool and this was the last picture we took as we left the pool deck. I’m thinking our expressions say it all.

Parting is such sweet sorrow. Sniff.

We totally enjoyed having Mamaw join us on this expedition. Maybe next time she can convince Papoo to take a break and enjoy some beach time with us.

Whole Hotta Fun

2010-08-31T04:13:00.000-04:00

Summertime is a strange time around the Maxwell house. It’s the busy season for Daddy, which means he works a lot, weekdays and weekends. It is also the concert season. So when Daddy isn’t working, he’s planning and attending the next “show”. It’s too hot and too crowded for parks and all things that we normally enjoy crowd free. So we take lots of trips to Mamaw and Papoo’s house and take advantage of a few friends who generously offer us access to their pools and/or boats on the lake. We began our summer with a huge celebration..the High School Graduation of my nephew Joshua!

We attended a very chilly mountaintop ceremony and ushered Josh into the “real world”

We are all very proud of Joshua and we wish him all the luck and happiness he deserves.

Next up…the holidays! We were thrilled to be invited to join the Tabak family for Memorial Day on lovely Lake Lanier.

We spent a fun filled day cruising the lake on his boat. We were also treated to another fun filled day during the July 4th weekend. We joined several other lucky recipients and had a great time hanging at the dock. Daddy and Seager got a special treat

when Mark fired up the wave runners. Seager gathered up enough courage to join all the other crazy adrenaline junkies and jump from the two-story dock

and he also got in a little fishin’. Emphasis on little!

And Dagon? Well, he was just Dagon.

It was a great day and many, many thanks go to the sweet Tabak family for all their hospitality!

But before we headed to the lake we got a visit from Uncle Steve and family. They joined us in our trek to downtown Kennesaw to watch the fireworks.

Being a former pyromaniac, I knew the conditions were ideal for pyro and was kind of jealous of the folks that were shooting the show.

I was right, it was a perfect night for fireworks.

In the summer of 2010, it was the small things that caught my attention and prompted me to get out the “toy”. This day, for instance, was priceless.

What more can a couple of boys ask for after breakfast than a front row showing of backhoe digging. So they pulled up a chair and enjoyed the show! I was just glad that the water company finally decided to fix their leak in our front yard. I only called four times in as many months. They kept saying it must be a spring that just started bubbling up after all these years. Yeah, maybe black gold will bubble up next summer! Black Gold…Texas Tea… Government, what a joke.

Another day found me cleaning out a drawer full of panty hose. Now considering I haven’t worn pantyhose in 20+ years, it would make sense that the drawer was long overdue for a clean out. What happens next? My brilliant older child grabs a black pair, puts it on his head and says “What kind of crazy hat is this Mommy?”

Now that is funny! It is amazing how many things that are normal to us grownups are completely foreign to kids. Now, as long as he never pulls them over his face and announces he needs something from the convenience store, we’ll be doing good! Hysterical!

It’s been a strange summer, weather wise. No drought this year! I have very fond memories of playing in the rain as a child. I am so thankful that my boys also enjoy the simple pleasure of a summertime rainstorm. They love to run, splash and play in the rain but were overjoyed and thrilled with a nighttime rain that did not involve thunder and lightning.

I loved the look on Dagon’s face as the gutter completely overflowed!

Continuing with the wet’n’wild theme, Beverly and Don Marshall are generous enough to allow us access to their wonderful pool and kid-friendly back yard.

They extended that generosity with an invitation to the 4th Annual Redneck Olympics.

I offered up myself and my “toy” to document this much anticipated event as a thank you for all the pool days over the course of the summer.

I took about 800 pictures that day. I whittled those down and created a fun-filled slide show to share with all the attendees. There were a lot of laughs and a lot of good memories that will forever be burned into the minds of folks who thought they might not remember everything that happened. Now they will have documented memories(uh oh.) It was a great event and an enjoyable project for me!

So, these are just a sampling of our summer fun. Mostly it was just your typical summer fun… and this picture of the Daddy and Frank just about says it all!

The Dark Days of Summer

2010-08-15T09:26:00.000-04:00

Every year when posting my Thanksgiving post, I always try to say how thankful I am for the fact that all my family and friends are healthy and happy. I will admit, however, that I’ve wondered when the fickle finger of fate would appear and decimate our winning streak. 2010 has presented itself as the year that fate showed up in a awful, nasty way.

As I have alluded to in previous posts, our family has received news that has shaken us to the core. My younger sister Lori was diagnosed with malignant melanoma cancer. I will not re-live every step that has included several scary diagnoses, several surgeries and most the month of July spent with her enduring treatments. Just know that each step has been mind numbing for us and devastating for her.

I want to go back to the beginning. That first visit to the Dermatologist. That first look on his face when he said “I do not like the way that looks.” The offensive spot was diagnosed and as a precaution some lymph nodes were tested to be sure everything was contained.

There was a teeny tiny trace…so minute that the lab ran a special “stain” to pinpoint the issue. This was the test that sent Lori, her Dr. and everyone else into another layer of disbelief. Melanoma, you see, is not curable. It is aggressive and once on the move, does not care what you do… you can’t stop it or kill it. All the pretty pink ribbons you see for breast cancer….yeah, they have a ribbon for melanoma…it’s black. So Lori asks the question…”What if I had waited to get it checked?” “You would have lasted less than a year” was the response.

That kind of statement makes you think. It makes you think about all kinds of crazy shit. Then one day I started to think about that lab report. I started thinking about that lab person who went the extra mile to run the extra test to find the teeny tiny stain of cancer cells hiding in one little lymph node.

I have no idea who this person is. Male, female, white, black, old, young, single, married, a mom, a dad, brother, sister? I have no idea how to picture the person who is ultimately responsible for saving my sister’s life. Then I think, what if this person had a headache that day, or a hangover, or got in a fight with their spouse or had a sick child at home. An infinite number of things could have distracted this person, but that didn’t happen. And while most of us do not have people’s lives literally in the palm of our hand and depending on our abilities, we are all indirectly responsible for hundreds if not thousands of people every day.

We stumble through our days never noticing that every step we make impacts others. You got up late, are you speeding to get to work on time, gunning it at every yellow light? No, on time? Are you texting while driving? Did you hop in your car and drive yourself home after having “a couple” of beers after work or let someone else drive that was clearly unable? How about little things that are not life threatening but can still effect someone else. Holding a door for someone, handing a stranger a handful of coupons that you can’t use as you leave the grocery store or calling a friend who’s having a hard time; instead of just typing a :-( on their Facebook post.

Anyway, you get the point. I have no way to repay this anonymous person who ultimately saved my family from a lifetime of grief. So I’ll just pay it forward. Do something nice for someone else. Pay attention, even if my life is a complete disaster. Whoever you are, you have my eternal thanks. If you only knew what a special person you saved.

So her treatments are over. PET scan clear. Everything seems to be on the right track and we are ever so grateful for that. As far as I’m concerned that’s that. The End. We will not entertain any other option.

I will say this, Lori ignored something that deep down she knew was not right and it almost killed her. Trust your instincts and get things checked. And for the love of God, stay out of tanning beds. It’s not worth it. If you really think they are safe, I suggest you read something other than the brochures and magazine that they have in the waiting room of the tanning salon. There, preaching over. It’s your life.

Since I could do nothing to change the outcome of anything Lori had to endure, I did what I am good at, creativity. The boys and I greeted her as she exited the cancer center after her last treatment with balloons and a t-shirt with a special logo created especially for her.

To you Lori,

my beautiful baby sister, THANK YOU for not giving up and fighting to stay around. While this may be a slightly insane bunch,

we would be lost without you. I Love You!

PCB Bound

2010-05-28T03:54:00.000-04:00

The summerlike weather has arrived. It can only mean one thing, GET TO THE BEACH QUICK BEFORE THE SHEEPLE ARRIVE! Aah the joys of homeschooling…no crowds at the beach! Our destination…The Beautiful Holiday Inn on Panama City Beach. And just to add to our enjoyment we have playmates…

the Ruttkas!

We love this property and they treat returning families like royalty. The weather was gorgeous and our first day was perfection. Then, it all went to hell, well for Dagon and that means Mommy too.

Even though I was very diligent in coating Whitey Ford with layers of sunscreen he still got sunburned and was quite uncomfortable. I was just so mad at myself for letting this happen to my baby. He was listless and only wanted to stay in bed. So I sent everyone out for dinner thinking he would be fine in the morning and we could get back to normal. No such luck.

Even though he did not want to go to breakfast, I pushed the issue and we all went to breakfast. He said he was not hungry. And I, the all knowing Mommy, had him drink a little juice and eat a bite of something. I really wanted to keep him hydrated due to the sunburn. He chose to sit in my lap and after settling in close proceeded to puke all over both of us in the middle of breakfast. I jumped up and exited immediately. Luckily, I was able to “contain” the situation to just us and made the fateful trek up the elevator and into the room that would become our prison for the next 2 days.

There is only one thing more pitiful than a kid with a painful sunburn and that is a kid who also has a stomach bug while at the very place that he has been sooo excited about visiting for weeks. So, there are very few pictures of little Dagon on this trip.

Joe would come and give me a break occasionally so I could go down and snap some pictures of all the fun. So here we go…

Big Jim is the DJ and he does an excellent job getting the crowd going. There was lots of dancing…

pool time with the Daddys

and fun in the water park.

Then there was the Polynesian Show!

They had a hula contest…

and guess who won?

Finally the day came when Dagon felt like getting out for a bit and to the beach we went.

At first he wasn’t feelin’ it.

Things got a little better…

Then the warm water hit those toes and voila…a little smile! Whew! Now the fun can proceed.

Surfer Seager the Sea Warrior was, as usual, his normal beach bum photographic self.

Then things got a little wild or shall I say the Hot Daddys got a little wild. Big Daddy started to flex and pose

then…what happened?

A flashback to the eighties is the only explanation I could come up with. The guys celebrating their High School Graduation were very impressed!

I overhead some females commenting that the 40 year old crazy guy had a much better bod than any of the young studs and I couldn’t argue with that logic at all. Unfortunately, security was NOT impressed. Who knew that thongs were now illegal on this stretch of “family” beach. When did that happen? Spoil sports! Thank God they love us at the Holiday Inn or we would have been packing…quickly.

Anyhoo… I then turned my attention to the very beautiful, and slightly less crazy, Ruttka girls and got some great pictures.

So, this was quite the odd trip. We made the best of a bad situation and discovered that Mr. Ruttka has still got “it” but should keep “it” covered when on a family beach. I also took one of my most favorite pictures of all time…

and last, but certainly not least, I learned that when a kid says he is NOT hungry, just go with that.

A Fish Tale

2010-05-09T01:09:00.000-04:00

This is Seager’s fish tale…

Once upon a time, on a bright, warm May afternoon, a boy and his little brother convinced their Papoo that it was a perfect day for a trip to the pond. After a successful lesson in worm digging, they headed out armed with bait, lures, poles and high hopes.

As usual, Papoo was quite busy baiting, untangling, and repeatedly insisting that in order to catch a fish, one has to keep the hook in the water. The pond was very still and the water very clear. So clear in fact, you could watch the fish chase your bait and eventually steal it. Now this might sound fun, but it became frustrating for the little boys to see, but not catch, the illusive little fish. Amongst the little thieves was the “big” one. A huge bass that floated just far enough out to be safe but be seen by all. He would tease the older boy by following the bait around every time the boy moved along the bank or reeled in to recast. This cat and fish game went on for a good while.

After using all the live bait, the older boy looked in his tackle box and produced several different options. He tried spinners and lures but the “big” one continued it’s torment. The boy pulled out the last resort…a sparkling, yellow, plastic worm. He sailed a beautiful cast out, started the reel in, felt a little tug, then nothing. His nemesis floated there, staring at him and upon looking at his bait of choice, he realized that his sparkling, yellow worm had been chomped in half, leaving nothing but an exposed hook and a little yellow stump.

Seeing the gravity of the situation and the lateness of the day, Papoo gave the signal that it was time to give it up and head home. Screams of disappointment and frustration filled the early evening. The boy could not be consoled with promises of “tomorrow” and kept casting as Papoo loaded the truck. When everything was loaded, the boy was instructed to reel in and bring his pole to the truck. At that very second, a screech of pure excitement and adrenaline filled the air. Much to everyone’s surprise, the boy had hooked something! Was is a little teaser fish, a log or was it the “big” one? It appeared to be something big, something HUGE!

Papoo stayed close but let the boy land his prize. As soon as the prize got close to the bank, Papoo helped make sure that it made it on shore.

And then, there it was…The “Big” One! The one that followed and teased the boy into such a state that failure was not an option.

The trophy was handed over to the rightful owner

and he lifted it up in triumph and pride!

The smaller brother was very excited for his big brother. They both were very surprised to learn that this particular fish is called a large mouth bass. They were fascinated to get to see the inside of the fish via that large mouth.

After the winner’s circle photo shoot, Papoo gently took the sparkling, yellow stump out of that large mouth and eased him back in the pond. He swam back to his watery home with a quick flick of his tail.

Mission accomplished. The boy, who never gave up, won his trophy. And what do you think he said as he finally got himself into the truck to leave…

“I think we should come back tomorrow

so I can catch him again!”

Determination and confidence are obviously not lacking in this young man. A successful future is his for the taking!

He’s Got A Ticket to Ride!

2010-04-25T19:58:00.000-04:00

It was a normal spring playdate. We were enjoying the company and hospitality of Carter, Audrey and Shauna at their very kid friendly home. Carter was showing off his new found abilities on the bicycle…without training wheels! Being the good friend he is, he volunteered to show Seager the tricks of the trade and proved to be an excellent teacher. Within an hour, Seager getting the hang of it, borrowed the “magic” green bicycle and took it home to show Daddy the exciting development. He was unstoppable! He immediately had us remove all traces of training wheels from his bicycle and that was the end of that!

But the “Magic” green bicycle was not finished yet…within a few days…

and so the Need for Speed began!

I took many, many pictures over the next couple of weeks.

Each day brought more surprises

So the X Games have officially begun in the Maxwell world.

My wish is for no broken bones. And for anyone sitting there shaking their head about their lack of head gear…get over it. I NEVER wore a helmet and neither did any other kid in the country. We crashed, we lived. If you have a comment about how “that explains a lot”, I welcome it. Of course, due to the nanny state that we now live in, they have to wear the gear if we go to any public place to ride, but we will just deal with that.

So it’s official..no more training wheels for this household. It is still a little strange to see Dagon, who looks sooo little, pedaling at the speed of light with no training wheels. On his first trip around the path at the park, he was speeding by kids twice his age putting along with their training wheels. More that one person took a double take, some just shook their heads and a couple asked how old he was. He was somewhat of a surprise to most. The sheer look of joy as he speeds by you at breakneck speed says it all. And we owe it all to Carter, his patience and the “Magic” green bicycle! Thanks Carter!

Soccer Stars 2010

2010-04-16T23:39:00.000-04:00

Spring is in the air and that means it’s ~~time to sniff the pollen~~ Soccer Time! Not much to tell. The only difference is this year I have the new camera. I won’t waste much time on a wordy post about the boys playing soccer. We play one day a week with other homeschooled kids. No week nights, early morning Saturday games, fundraising, traveling, uniforms or parents trying to fulfill their failed sports dreams through their kids. Just a great group of kids learning skills and playing games against one another for the fun of it and for exercise.

If nothing else…They’ve got the look…

and the moves…

will they be future soccer stars, maybe not. BUT they are having a great time!

Seager turns Six

2010-04-07T18:56:00.000-04:00

Let the celebration(s) begin. Our fun began with a visit from the fam… Mamaw,, Aunt Lori and Optimus Brooklyn.

Since Mommy almost never does the “in”, “cool” or “trendy” thing AND, as previously stressed, hates the Mall, Aunt Lori sweeps in like Glenda the Good Witch and promptly escorts everyone to (shoot me now) Build-A-Bear.

I know, I’m a heartless, cynical, awful Mother that would much rather spend Big Daddy’s hard earned money on a cool field trip or something that does something besides collect dust, but that’s just me. Dagon was also going to become a parent and the excitement was quite overwhelming. We quickly became a family of six with the addition of Army, the giggling camouflage bear

and fluffy the sweet, cuddly kitty who meows.

I did put my foot down when it was suggested that these animals would never survive the indignity of nakedness. I took them on a thrift store shopping spree and got the perfect outfits for less than $4…total.

Aunt Katrina showed us the magic of books in 3-D

and Mamaw got in lots of hugs and kisses.

Next up in the parade of family…a visit from cousins Christopher and Heather. With them arrived a bin full of Rescue Heroes in search of new heroic adventures and for Dagon, a little mini-build-a-bear from Grandmommy. He came with clothes, thank goodness!

Uncle Steve treated the whole clan to fun at Stars and Strikes including a fun round of laser tag! I know they don’t look like they are having fun but they had on their “Going into Battle” faces. This is serious stuff!

Having got the family celebrations out of the way… it was time for the yearly Birthday Fiesta! Except for his brotherly wingman, this was this year of the Senoritas!

Seager knows how to show a lady a good time. There was singing,

dancin’,

lots of dancin’ which resulted in…

Seager better learn to pace himself with the ladies. And as his brother discovered a few weeks prior…you’d better be on your toes or you will end up with a world of heartache or at the very least a feeling of “what just happened?”.

Finally, after all that, the big day finally arrives…

cue the insanity and the BOYS…

all eight of them! Plus one little sister. (Not pictured…4 week old Skyler who was much more interested in his Mom at the time). For this rambunctious crowd we chose a park with lots of room to play,

explore

and act silly!

Mommy got to practice with her new toy taking some really fun and beautiful pictures. It’s amazing what a new camera can do for you!

The next day…to finish up the marathon celebration, Seager invited best bud Carter to join us to see How to Train Your Dragon in 3-D.

It will be an understatement to say that I absolutely LOVED this movie and will own it promptly within it’s release.

So there you have it…I’m not sure if we will be able to keep up the pace of these marathon birthday celebrations year after year. I will continue as long as my sanity holds up. Only time will tell how long that will be.

Happy Birthday Seager!

Happy Snow/Birth/Valentines Day!

2010-02-28T21:55:00.001-05:00

I totally believed that this was our year! I sent the snow queen several invitations. She chose to ignore many, chose to tease us for many more but finally came through. Of course, being her unpredictable self, she decided to make it on the day/weekend that was completely planned down to the hour in celebration of the birth of Dagon! Of course, Dagon didn't mind, just disappointing for Mommy.

So on tap we had the Ruttkas coming in from Alabama on Friday, Saturday morning breakfast buffet and then off to the Tellus Museum to meet the Dalys, then on to the Mexican Restaurant for the adults to have their fun (disguised as Dagon's celebration), then pink iced cinnamon rolls to start our Valentine celebration on Sunday morning.

The snow arrived around 3:00 p.m. Friday. The Ruttkas arrived shortly thereafter. A little snow was not going to stop Mike from his "Big Daddy Time" as he calls it. We had a great time that afternoon playing with our much anticipated snow.

Mike and Joe take on snowman duty instructing the little ones on the fine art of snowman construction.

(this photo spoke to me and I love it in black and white)

The results...

Lydia, moved on from her new friend to a more exciting endeavor...

Fun was had by all!

We then moved the party inside, cooked up some dinner and had a fun evening. Mike and Joe found a live webcam of Mardi Gras and stayed up until 4 a.m. watching it. I find that totally insane...just waiting...for something to happen...tits?....puke?....fight? Who knows what they were waiting for, but Mike learned a very important lesson. Do not, under any circumstances, keep Big Daddy up until 4 a.m. the first night and expect him to be ready to go again the next night. Just ain't happening. We also learned that Lydia's crush on Seager is still active. As all the kiddos were dining on their Fisher Price plastic picnic table, Lydia looks across the table at Seager and says, "I Love You". Good to know that the snowman didn't create a complicated love triangle.

Even though our breakfast and Museum trip got canceled, we did manage to keep the Mexican date for the birthday celebration. Everyone arrived safely and the celebration commenced.

And while it may seem that Dagon is partial to only female participants...he did have a wingman or two!

You know the drill...smile

sing...

blow. My sweet, but wild, baby is now four years old.

As we packed up to leave, the karaoke crowd set up. Seager, Dagon, Sydney and Lydia entertained us with a rousing rendition of the ABC song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. A standing ovation followed.

Here is a video for you to see. Yes, it is a typical Happy Birthday serenade but the ending is classic. I find it sad that my sweet four year old had to learn such a lesson about women at such a young, tender age.

Birthday Surprise

But all's well that ends well!

Birthday Surprise Do Over

And the next morning...Valentine's Day...those pink iced cinnamon rolls were delicious!

Goodbye February, hello March. Gymnastics is over...but soccer starts in a couple of weeks. Seager is counting down the days until his celebration, Mike is begging for more Big Daddy time, the snow queen is still lurking and we wait for some positive news. I'll keep you posted.

Distractions Abound

2010-02-28T21:45:00.001-05:00

Imagine my surprise when I looked at the calendar and realized it was the last day of February of 2010. How did that happen? These two months have proved to be a whirlwind of activity for me personally. Most was good with just a sprinkling of really bad.

On January 5th, our good friends, The Powells welcomed their sweet and precious Taylor into the world. As my gift to their family, I offered up my photography hobby to capture their precious bundle. I was surprised to have such a willing participant at only three weeks of age. The end result was a ton of pictures of Taylor and her new family. With the help of Aunt Lori, I created a slideshow for them that chronicled the journey from the surprise pregnancy to Taylor's debut as a fashion model. A few samples...

Next up, our good homeschooling friends, the Stricklands. Their family is awaiting (any day now) the arrival of their new addition. As my gift to Kim (mommy-to-be) I offered up myself again. This time to create some memorable pregnancy photos and family shots. It didn't hurt that she is truly a beautiful pregnant woman.

I also created a slideshow for Kim and presented it to her at her Blessing Way. Needless to say, my creative side has been very fulfilled while working on these two projects.

But, reality is a fickle bitch. This is going to be vague and I ask for your patience in this matter but I needed to get it out there to enable some positive thoughts to head our way. My family is dealing with an scary issue that really, for lack of a better word, sucks. It is not me, Joe or the boys. If you are the praying type, do that. If not, just send some positive vibes into the universe for us. I'll take what I can get. Please also keep our friend Chris in those prayers/thoughts too. She was severely injured when her deck collapsed with her on it. She has a long path of rehab ahead of her with a lot of pain to go with that. As stated before, sucks!

It's been a strange start to 2010. I can only hope that the bad stuff is over and the joy that I have gotten from my creative endeavors keeps on coming. And snot, I am really tired of snot.

Santa, Santa Everywhere!

2009-12-18T02:33:00.000-05:00

As most of you already know...we found Santa at the beach!

He was soooo cooperative and more than excited to spend a few days just hangin' with the Maxwells! Ha. When we found him, he was happily relaxing with his entourage.

We won't go into the negotiations between he and I, but he had to be persuaded and I got the persuading done. He was easily swayed, I might add. I have that effect sometimes. TMI?

The 2009 Christmas card finalists were... and this one, which I did print a few of and send out to some. I called it the "artsy fartsy" shot... And the winner...

The Blooper Reel is in the next post. Be sure to see what really happened!

We left Santa there at the beach to enjoy the rest of his vacation. Since he was "off the clock" the boys still needed to put in their gift orders. That, of course, means a trip to the mall, joy of joys. It is fun to watch all the different reactions from different kids. Some dressed up, some not, some screaming, some just 5 days old. All cute in their own way.

No wavering with my boys though. It's an all business interaction, get in, smile for the camera, place the order,

grab the candy

and get out.

Done deal. Notice the mohawk...it's back!!!

Both were quizzed on what they were going to ask for. I had been trying to explain to Seager that Santa might NOT bring the Wii that he was going to ask for. And what do you think was right there beside Santa's feet...

I hope those marketing people get a reindeer turd, just for being evil elves. What's a budgetized Mom & Dad to do with such a request. I have no idea. As far as Dagon's order, he tells you something different every time you ask. I think he's doing it on purpose, but I'm just not sure. He's sneaky, that one. As a last ditch effort, I think we may send Santa an email with our revised list. So who knows what Santa might leave under the tree but he better decide soon!

I have definitely had enough "Santa" to last me for another 11 months. Ho, Ho, Ho.

The Blooper Reel

2009-12-18T02:18:00.002-05:00

Here are the photos that didn't make the cut!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Turkey Trek

2009-12-18T01:51:00.000-05:00

The annual Turkey Trek was a success. We reached Mexico Beach, settled in, and headed straight for the pool. Our first full day was quite odd. I have never been to the beach when there was no surf. It was like a huge pond. No waves, no wind, no sound, no sun, just clouds. Very eerie, actually.

Seager's first words that morning were, "I see a shark!" We all ran to the balcony to witness several dolphins swimming by. So beautiful to watch in the calm water.

Not to be discouraged, there was a certain beauty to the unusual circumstances. I began what would be several days of photo taking, much to the dismay of all three Boys. The results, on this day, were different than my usual pictures, but stunning in a calm sort of way. You get just a little preview now, but you will have to wait for the rest. You know how this works.

The next day, Thanksgiving, brought lots of sun, wind and waves. Much better lighting from a photographer's view! In preparation for our Thanksgiving Feast, we took a shower, got dressed and headed for the buffet. That's exactly the kind of food prep I like! We stopped along the way for Turkey day photos...Tom Turkey joined us again this year.

Seager took this shot...

After a wonderful meal, we headed back to enjoy the pool, and of course, more photos. (Dagon was quite grumpy) but...

he did recover from grumpy-itus.

There are of course over 50 photos, much like this one. I hope that one day, the boys will be old enough to understand that if they would just hold still and smile for about 20 shots, this task could be accomplished in one afternoon instead of several days of running (them) and screaming (me). One day. I also have gotten several requests that they want me in the picture. When I win the lottery, I promise to hire a professional to take the pictures, another professional to photoshop me, and the photo will be on some exotic beach. Until then, I just don't have an answer for you. Perhaps someone there in Mexico Beach can volunteer to be photographer next year, in the event that I don't win the big bucks in 2010.

Now, I have to edit and decide which is "the shot", create the card, get it ordered, design the envelope labels, update the mailing list, stand in line at the post office for stamps, print 100 labels (yes, there are 100 cards that go out) wait for the USPS to bring the cards, stuff them and send them. It is a labor of love, and I love getting all the messages and return cards. I hope you like this year's installment.

We are so thankful this year for our health and happiness. Now, if we can just get the wealth to follow, 2010 will be a banner year. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Barney & the Jester

2009-11-05T01:45:00.000-05:00

Halloween is a much revered holiday here at the Maxwell house. The promise of bags filled with sugar laced with Red Dye #8 and Blue Dye #4 is almost too much for little boys to handle. The costume choice is always serious business.

Seager's good friend Carter, his sister Audrey and Mom, Shauna invited us to go to Boo at the Zoo. We happily accepted, donned our spooky shirts and set out. We had a great day, the animals were very visible and we got some great pictures.

Decisions, decisions. Seager wanted to be his favorite Poptropica character...

then he saw this at the Halloween store...

It's $35.00. Not going to happen. Good thing Mommy is creative and can sew... introducing Spooky Seager Jester...close enough, I say!

Then we have Dagon. He wants to be a police officer...once again...$25.00. Not. A fellow homeschooler loaned us the hat, I was able to purchase the rest (clothing to be used again!)

Introducing... Barney Fife!

Now, let's get some candy.

The weather gods, who have quite the comedic sense of timing, decided to ruin the most important night of the year, but that didn't stop us!!

It was miserable, but the rain didn't melt the smiles. 24 hours later, we enjoyed the most beautiful night with a big full moon and a crystal clear sky. Timing is everything. Unfortunately, you can't control the weather gods, and you can't change the calendar.

On a side note, I should have become a meteorologist. You can be wrong 100% of the time and they just let you keep trying...and you still get paid! Of course, our current government gets the same perks. That should scare the hell out of you. BOO! And, for the love of GOD, would someone please throw a bucket of water on that Witch Pelosi and melt her into oblivion! Thanks.

Gulf Shore Shrimps

2009-10-20T04:25:00.000-04:00

So we get a call from our good friends the Ruttkas.

It would seem that Gulf Shores has a Shrimp Festival. It would also seem that they would like us to join them for said festival at their condo. Well, no self-respecting Maxwell is going to pass up a free trip to the beach with exceptional friends and even more exceptional weather on tap. What a brilliant decision we made. It was perfect weather, perfect friends and perfectly enjoyable. We learned many things on this trip...

Fact #1 - If you study it, it will come. We had just finished studying about Blimps the week prior. Just as we get within a couple of miles of Gulf Shores and are passing the airport, Seager yells, there's a blimp. And so it was, there on the runway all tied up. Two hours later, as we settled on the beach...

Fact #2 - The Maxwell boys have no fear of the ocean and will play in the waves until they pass out from exhaustion. All 3 of them.

Fact #3 - I should be making money on the incredible good looks of this child.

Fact #4 - Whoever said that I am never in the pictures was just wrong. See, I photograph well.

And when I don't, well that's what photo editing is for.

Fact #5 - I love taking pictures on the beach. The Ruttka girls are just beautiful!

Fact #6 - Little Lydia Ruttka has a crush on Seager.

Fact #7 - We had an absolute ball with Mike, Julia, Mackenzie and Lydia. We have missed them dearly since they moved to *gasp* Alabama. I hope this was the beginning of a new trend... good friends, good times, great memories!

The Great Mohawk Incident

2009-09-29T03:04:00.000-04:00

Dagon finally got the courage to cut his hair short like his brother. As Erin cut his hair, it naturally took shape into a faux mohawk. Dagon was quite impressed with this turn of events and left the salon sporting his new "do". It was so cute, I had to get a shot...not a good one, but a shot. I would have taken more had I known what the future would bring.

Fast forward a week later. It's a Friday night. Everyone is showered and coiffed for our weekly Los Reyes rendezvous with friends, salsa and that annoying Mariachi music. I am driving, I stop at a red light, I look in the rearview mirror to see if Dagon has dozed off. My brain cannot reconcile what my eyes see. I turn around to get a better look and what do I see? Dagon, scalped! Have Indians (Native Americans for you PC people) entered my house and scalped my child? I'm shocked and screaming "what happened to your hair"? Daddy, who had put the kid in the car, hadn't noticed this painful sight. I ask again, what has happened to your hair. Dagon seems to be unaffected by this issue and offers no explanation. An awful, sick feeling stuck with me the rest of the evening. When we got home, I found the evidence. Dagon had taken his craft scissors and just cut off the Mohawk, down to the scalp. This was very easy due to the stiff gel that was in his usually cotton-candy like hair. I gathered the little stiff, blond spikes and placed some lovingly in a little ziploc, to be used for embarrassment purposes one day in the future. Here is the painful sight...

The next few weeks were spent explaining what happened and hearing 90% of people relay their own self-inflicted haircutting adventures. Dagon got very upset with me whenever I told the story. I think he was quite regretful. The recovery will take awhile but hopefully he will be back to normal by Christmas!

Summer School

2009-08-13T01:33:00.000-04:00

Most kids just can't wait to get out of school for the summer. We can't wait to get in! Summer offers a multitude of wonderful learning possibilities and we take full advantage. Since Daddy is very busy in the Summer months, Mommy and Boys have lots of time for field trips! Our most favorite destination...Camp Mamaw/Papoo. Unit Study #1- A hike to the creek to see Papoo's new bridge. I spent many Summers playing in the creek and want my boys to have the same wonderful memories as I do. Upon arrival, the bridge, although impressive, is not nearly as enticing as the water. Outfitted with wading boots, the boys jump right in. The first object was to get to the big rock.

Dagon, of course, is the first to get this accomplished. But Seager was not far behind.

Next objective was to find a lizard. Papoo, our creek guide, was enlisted to help in the search.

The elusive creek lizard proved to be a difficult find, but...Seager was quite surprised to find a "baby lobster". Crawfish were very easy to spot and our fearless guide let the boys see one up close.

Strangely enough, neither boy was interested in holding the little critter. We did eventually find that lizard and a satisfied Seager went to do some fishing while Dagon rearranged every rock he could pick up. This is my favorite shot with Seager on the bridge and Dagon being Dagon. Unit Study #2 - Gardening with Mamaw. I also spent many hours as a kid in the garden. While I didn't have nearly as much fun hoeing weeds as playing in the creek, I did always enjoy all the fresh vegetables that were the result. Mamaw enlisted some helpers to pick a few things for dinner. And what summer camp would be complete without a swim! Dagon, having gained the strength he needed, became a fish and swims like a pro. Not as fast as Seager yet, but he keeps trying. Unit Study #3 - Fishin'! Teach a kid to fish and you'll spend your afternoon baiting hooks and getting hooks out of bushes. Seager is actually a pretty good caster, but Dagon is lacking in patience. We were successful in the end! Many thanks to Aunt Lori on this day of learning!

Unit Study #4 - Disaster preparedness. With all the rain and flooding, we performed drills in the event of rising water...

I have no idea what Dagon is preparing for.

School is also about friends! Our fellow homeschoolers, Challaghan and Rory,

invited us to their Grandma's pool. Since it was just the boys, both Moms and Grandma, clothing was optional (for the boys) and Seager took advantage.

Dagon chose to be modestly fearless.

So, while everyone else is paying Summer rates at the beach with the rest of the Southeast, we go to Summer School. No crowds, just lots of schoolwork disguised as fun. And, I hope, lots of wonderful memories.

Tears for the living.

2009-07-08T02:33:00.001-04:00

I always find it hardest to see the sadness of the living in times such as these. I don't feel sorry for the dead. They have finished what they came here to do and moved on to the next level.

I watched Michael's memorial and saw a grieving family and a select few who actually knew him as a person and not an object. My heart broke for the little girl who lost her daddy.

Except for that complete idiot from the Government and Sharpton, I thought it was a dignified tribute to a man that was a son, a brother, a friend and a daddy. I was most moved by Brooke Shields, Jennifer Hudson (I don't know why, maybe it was the song?) and of course by watching that little girl who wanted so much to make everyone understand her love for her Daddy.

I also enjoyed the stories that made Michael seem almost normal. Unfortunately, we know he was not, don't we? Yes, he was weird, the tabloids said so. It must be true. It was easy to believe as we watched him morph over the years from a good looking young man into a strange shell of a human being, obviously tortured by the life resulting from his fame.

Just for a moment, imagine how awful it would be to have everyone pulling at you, gawking at you, yelling at you, and expecting greatness from you every second of every day for the rest of your life. It would suck. He lived it and had the money to buy all the things that made it bearable for him, bad things, weird things, things that ultimately killed him and people who stood by and watched.

A child molester???? I doubt the people who actually accused him were ever molested and we will never know if he really did. Money will make people say terrible things and his accusers wanted a boatload of it. To all of you who are just convinced he did it, how do you know? Were you a victim? How do you decide which sensationalized news stories are true and which are just silly crap?

Anyway, I felt like I should write something since this was the biggest news story of all time. Ha. We, as a family, celebrated Michael with our friends the Daly's. We played our favorite songs and danced. Joe's version of the crotch grab was just...words escape me.

Seager was more excited about the hat and glove.

I am glad that my boys can enjoy the wonderful music that Michael left without enduring the train wreck that was his life. Seager, however, did see a clip of him at a news conference today and said he looked like a girl. I asked him was it the hair? and he replied "No Mommy, he's wearing red lipstick." Enough said.

As Michael begins his existence on the other side, I hope he finds freedom, something he never had on this side. He is now free from his prison. I really hope those kids get a shot at a real life but I fear society will dog them forever. They will forever be a Jackson. God help them.

B-B-B-B-B-Bad, Bad to the Bone

2009-06-13T13:17:00.001-04:00

I've been a bad, bad girl. (Are you hearing the song in your head?)

I'm here, Back in the Saddle, Back to Business, Back to Work, etc. Are you betting there is a theme here? You betcha! (wink to Sarah!) The letter of the day is the letter B.

Grab a bottle of ~~Bourbon~~ Buttermilk and I'll catch you up. We begin with Bunnies.

I took the boys for an overdue photo shoot just before Easter. The bunnies were cute...the boys more cute.

Bouncing forward, we have the conclusion of our Ball season. Homeschool soccer and t-ball were a big hit. The boys loved it and I survived my coaching debut. I am, however, still stinging from the ridicule of those who know I'm no "sport". They are 5 and 3 year olds. I really just had to make sure they didn't get killed, kidnapped or piss their pants. A breeze for someone of my qualifications.

Beach Bums...ready for action! We love PCB in May. The weather is beautiful and the beaches are bare. Off-season travel is a bonus of homeschooling! We highly recommend the Holiday Inn Sunspree, great place for kids.

After our five days of blissful blue skies and water, Mommy got a brain block. I just couldn't bring myself to blog. Then it was finale season on the Boob Tube.

I'm a TIVO slave. I don't get to watch "my" shows until after everyone else is bunked in their beds. So my late night blogging times were bumped by my tv viewing.

LOST - Blew me away! I LOVE THAT SHOW! and I will blubber like a baby when it ends next season.

24 - BORING! This season blew chunks. I watched anyway. I'm faithful that way.

Grey's - Hit by a Bus! Bummer. And kill the blonde bimbo already.

Idol - Highlight of the season was the Seacreast joke about bikini girl's boob job. Adam wins on the fact that he can now be the bitch he wants to be.

Survivor - Best guy won! A bumpkin from Alabama. Yes, I still love the show and have watched all 18 seasons. Once again, I'm faithful that way.

ER - Boo Hoo. I was faithful til the end.

Heroes - Bring back the excitement of the first season...Please! But I will still be faithful.

Brothers & Sisters - big family problems are always fun to watch.

So then June began. Still blocked. Still uninspired. Even Barack couldn't get me to budge.

A few things do require a mention...

Star Trek is great. Loved it!

Can't wait for Transformers!

Chastity Bono is "changing" to Chaz?!

Then the unthinkable. After many requests and badgering, I relented and jumped on the bandwagon. The Facebook bandwagon.

I'm there now. Of course I wanted to link the blog to my Facebook so I had to update it. I wouldn't want the blogger gods to revoke my license due to lack of posts and any new viewers to think I'm washed up.

Alrighty then. I have broken the block. Believe me, it was bleeping hard, but it's done. Now if I can tear myself away from Facebook long enough to have a creative thought, I'll post again soon!

Hope you all are having a great Summer!

He's everywhere

2009-05-01T02:21:00.000-04:00

I thought I was special. For years, my life has been viewed from above. I just assumed I was That Important.

It all started at the wedding. I thought it was just a good luck flyover. I was kind of touched that ole George cared.

Then we went on our honeymoon to Tahiti and it happened again! (oh to be that skinny again, boo hoo.)

Seager was shocked at his first encounter.

Dagon proudly showed off his first steps on the beach. But was unimpressed the second time it happened.

We tried to escape the watchful "eye" on a trip to the Dominican Republic.

And I know for a fact that Grandmommy was shocked to see such a big bird.

Then the unthinkable. George was no longer aboard. Joe was the first to be buzzed by the new guy while fishing in Costa Rica.

Look out Uncle Steve, The One might just land there to visit all his peeps! But the final straw was this evening. If you've been to my house, you know that we are nestled amongst huge trees. And huge trees produce lots of sticks. After many months of stick collecting, we piled them up and prepared to get rid of them. Of course, being a retired pyromaniac, the logical thing was to set the pile on fire. And not a moment too soon! The burning ban goes into effect May 1. Big Daddy, in his usual fashion, suggested gasoline to "get things going". I didn't fall for that trick. A few strategically placed squirts of lighter fluid was all this professional needed. Little did I know that The One was on to me and flew by just as my little campfire got going good. You are not going to believe what happened...

that SOB called the fire department! Seager and Dagon were thrilled that the Fire Truck came to our house. The Firemen couldn't have been nicer and were satisfied that I had the whole thing under control. No harm no foul. Whew! I was gonna send that bill to DC had I been fined.

So, watch out my friends. You never know when The One will do a flyover and check out what you are doing. If you are worried about how much all this surveillance is costing, don't. They just print up whatever they need to spend. No big deal.

This is just too easy. Why do they have to make it so easy?

Tooting my own horn.

2009-04-30T14:17:00.000-04:00

I thought it was a great post. So inspired, so current, so right on. Did I get one response from anyone. Nope. Nada, zip, zilch, zero. So, I'm going to follow in the footsteps of The One! I'm just going to pat myself on the back and tell you all how great I am. This wasn't my 100th post, but that's ok.

What a great post Angela! You inspire me with your honest and insightful thoughts! Way to go, baby!

I have been at a loss to truly put how I feel about our planet into words. Lucky for me, a very great man already did so. Ladies and Gentlemen...the late and brilliant Mr. George Carlin (there will be foul language, as it should be with someone speaking for me on this subject.)

Drowning in a Sea of Green

2009-04-24T01:11:00.001-04:00

Do you remember back in second grade when your teacher asked you to draw a picture of what the future might look like? I mostly remember all the drawings of flying cars, fantastic skyscrapers and metallic looking jumpsuits. I have to say that I never, ever had a vision of anything sinister or apocalyptic.. I never worried about the Earth flooding, drying up or that if I didn't recycle my milk carton, a polar bear would certainly die a slow and painful death of starvation and hot flashes. I only dreamed of a happy life and looked forward to traveling and seeing some of the beautiful sights in our world. (Which thankfully, I have been so lucky to do!) However, there was this one gentle reminder

Today's kids aren't quite so lucky. Wednesday, as I'm sure you all were reminded everywhere you turned, was Earth Day. A day for ~~reflection and appreciation of all the beautiful and wondrous things that our planet has to offer~~ getting brainwashed that you are destroying our planet with every move you make. WTF? Okay, hear me out on this. Our children are getting the holy hell scared out of them! A new study has emerged and the numbers have saddened me beyond belief. You can read for yourself here http://www.treehugger.com/files/2009/04/kids-worry-about-environment.php. Basically, one out of every three children aged 6 to 11 fears that Earth won't exist when they grow up. Minority kids have it worst; 75 percent of black children and 65 percent of Hispanic children believe that the planet will be irrevocably damaged by the time they reach adulthood. Why are we allowing this blatant and untruthful abuse to be force fed to our children without a second thought? Is there no innocence left? Why should they bother to care whether they stay healthy, get a good education and have dreams if it's all going to be over in less than 20 years?

Please don't assume that I'm not teaching my boys the proper amount of respect and admiration for Mother Earth. I even pay extra every month so we can recycle and the boys love to help put plastic in the special bin and carry it to the street on the proper day. They also know to never, ever leave trash anywhere and pick up after all the other slobs when we are at parks etc. I will, however, continue to de-program them whenever the opportunity strikes. Example: Mommy and Seager are brushing their teeth. Mommy turns on hot water to wash faces and hands. Seager keeps turning water off and scolding Mommy "you're wasting water!" How in the hell will I ever get to wash my face with HOT water if I can't let the tap run long enough for the damn hot water to get to the second story of the house? What should be a simple bedtime ritual has turned into a frustrating reminder of my inability to control all the crap drummed into the little minds that have been entrusted to me to mold into logical, free thinking human beings. And I don't even send my kids to the government for schooling! Imagine how bad it could be.......Good God!

So, back to the "good ole days", you all remember School House Rock!

Well, our good friends at Disney have created Schoolhouse Rock! Earth. New songs for a new generation - The Schoolhouse goes Green! Don't have a youtube link yet but you can click here and get a sampling.

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi763101977/

Here are the song titles on the new DVD

1.    Report from the North Pole
2.    The Little Things We Do
3.    The Trash Can Band
4.    You Oughta Be Savin’ Water
5.    The Rainforest
6.    Save the Ocean
7.    FatCat Blue: The Clean Rivers Song
8.    A Tiny Urban Zoo
9.    Solar Power to the People
10.    Windy and the Windmills
11.    Don’t be a Carbon Sasquatch

These are real, I did not make them up.

Never mind that too many kids can't read or spell or write a complete sentence or make simple change or know a little bit of history or learn that their body is full of bones. (All of which you can learn from various School House Rock classic videos). Let's focus on indoctrinating these kids and filling their minds with political issues created to scare the living hell out of them. All this so they will feel comforted when the almighty Government "saves" them and the planet from certain doom by taxing them into oblivion. Actually, I'd like to put my carbon footprint right up Al Gore's increasingly expanding ass.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to always have some global warming sarcasm in almost everything I write. There is a reason for that. IT'S A LOAD OF CRAP! Is there climate change, of course. Our planet has warmed and cooled many times over thousands of years. Why the hell do you think Greenland is named Green Land? It used to be green. Duh. Are we doing bad things to our planet, of course. But we,. as stupid polluting humans, are not causing the Earth to warm. It has, in fact, been cooling over the past 10 years. Thank God most people are starting to get that they have been lied to and led down a path of deception. I'll save further discussion of that for another day. Perhaps when Hurricane season hits and everyone is wringing their hands in despair.

Please, talk to your kids. Let them know that everything will be ok and Mother Earth will be here for them, slightly bruised, but here for their enjoyment. And if a comet slams into Earth and kills us all, oh well, never mind.

Hung Over

2009-04-17T02:58:00.001-04:00

Don't you hate it when you drink too much? I went to a party last night.. a Tea Party. I'd like to say it was like being drunk. It was actually quite sobering but also exhilarating! I almost didn't go, but thanks to my good friend Todd (aka Cave Man), I had a wingman and was able to make my pilgrimage down to the Capitol to have my say. It's not very often that you get to stand in crowd of 15,000 and feel so connected with so many people. Strangely enough, I didn't see any Kool-Aid stands anywhere. What I did see was Americans of every age, babies to grandparents, standing shoulder to shoulder with a common goal... to be heard. It's a powerful thing to hear that many people chanting "Less Tax, More Freedom" in unison over and over and over. Perhaps this is a good time to re-watch the movie Braveheart.

This guy felt the same thing... (disclamer: the pictures I took last night, well they suck. I thought I would be cool and hip and use my new Blackberry as my camera of choice. You see everyone doing it. I promise to never make that mistake again. I hate it when I'm stupid.)

The best part of the night was reading all the signs! My favorite, of course...

This one was a close second...

These guys were a crowd favorite! Somehow, I don't think big orange Home Depot would be too excited that they used blank signs from work. I personally give them an A+.

The main focus of course was the FairTax and our crappy tax system that our new tax commissioner can't even figure out without screwing it up. Gee, I wonder why, the tax code is now 70,000 pages long. If you go to the US Government Printing Office ( www.gpo.gov ), you can order a complete set of Title 26 of the US Code of Federal Regulations (that's the part written by the IRS), all twenty volumes of it, at the bargain price of $974, shipping included.

The secondary focus was what they are doing with all the money they are stealing from us.

So there you have it, my experience in a nutshell. Are you mad yet? Are you mad enough to stand with us and make your voice heard? I'll be going again, with Todd and whoever else wants to join us. Next time I will have my own sign, taped to a broom, saying "Lets clean out Congress!" (Can't seem to get away from my domestic leanings.) Or perhaps an enema bag with the words "Washington needs and enema!" Saw that last night.

And what was the response from The One?

President Barack Obama said Wednesday that he's already delivered the most progressive tax cut in history, with 95% of families getting a tax break in every paycheck.

Close to 50% of Americans don't pay any taxes so let's noodle this out...they don't pay anything but they get money back... It's called welfare, folks. Translation...

What are YOU going to do about it? Nothing? Then I don't want to hear one complaint out of any of you unless you are standing with us next time. Bring your own sign and a real camera.

I got nothing.

2009-04-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

Nothing but bitchin and complaining. You see, this all started the other day as I was flying through the house in a cleaning frenzy. Big Daddy left with the tornado twins and I was trying to capitalize on my freedom. Some Moms would read a book or take a bath. Yeah, I guess I'm just stupid like that. So anyway, things just started to piss me off and my mind was writing this post as my hands were scrubbing. So here we go. It all started in the bathroom.

Please tell me who's bright idea it was to design the bottom of the toilet to look like a very large man's lower intestine?

Not only is it unattractive, it is a bitch to clean. For those of you who have males in the house, you know that everything gets covered in pee. If they wanted to be clever with a toilet design, how about a bullseye inside? One that glows in the dark. One that you can slide a picture into. One that has a flashing neon light. These are the thoughts that go through my head as I'm on my knees trying to get the thing clean. Not to mention that this is one of those new water saving devices, you know the one, you have to flush at least three times just to get rid of one little three inch turd.

So what's a Big Daddy that hates flushing over and over to do? He goes out and gets the Big Daddy Toilet. You know the one..you've seen the commercial...

We all know who came up with that idea at the ad agency. It damn sure wasn't the woman who had to call the plumber and then stare at his ass crack whilst he fixed the problem.

Well turns out it's not that one exactly. Oh, it flushes it all - in one swoosh - but there is a problem that just irks me to no end. The tank sits a good three to four inches from the wall. This means that if you try to sit anything on top of the tank, it falls through the crack and behind the toilet. It also is sloped forward, so if it doesn't fall behind it falls forward and slaps you in the back.

Another brilliant design, but it does flush on the first try! Moving on to the kitchen, we have a refrigerator that is less than two years old and guess what? The ice dispenser is already broken - and we don't even use it very much! My parents still have the damned fridge we used when we were kids! It still runs and keeps extra stuff cold. Is everything made to be disposable? Does nothing last anymore?

And why is it that you can open the door and see this...a full load of everything imaginable.

BUT, someone who shall remain unnamed, will still stare in with a glazed over look and say "there is never anything to eat in here." Huh? Same thing over here in the pantry...not a thing to eat.

Here is the most irritating design of all...the dryer lint trap on top of the dryer.

Every time you pull the thing out to de-lint it, dust, lint and general nastiness flies everywhere. It coats the top of the dryer, the washer, swirls about and into your nose. WTF? I hate that.

And why, oh why, does my desk ALWAYS look like this? Damn, double damn.

I need a maid, a laundress, a cook, and a personal assistant. Anybody wanna volunteer? That's right, it's a volunteer position. I sure as hell have not received a paycheck yet.

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest! Which is not great either, just sayin'.

Look for the Easter picture parade this weekend!

FIVE has arrived

2009-04-06T23:20:00.001-04:00

After patiently waiting the six weeks after his brother's birthday, which to a kid seems like six months, Seager finally got his celebration. A whole week's worth! On Sunday, we welcomed the family in for some cake, presents and fantastic pig, compliments of Big Daddy the BBQ man. He fired up the smoker at 6:00 a.m. so we could enjoy the freshly cooked meat that afternoon. It's sooo good right off the smoker!

A serious Seager was soon ready to begin

and was assisted by his wing man...

He got some soccer stuff...

Then broke out the big guns! He and his wing man love to play dress up. Favorites include Superheroes, Firefighters and now Cowboys!

Next up, Tuesday the actual Birth Day. What a great day to start T-ball! Unfortunately, the weather was just awful and once again I made the mistake of saying I could help if needed. Yep, helping coach again. Mamaw was in attendance and took great pleasure in informing me how funny it was to see me out there running the bases with all the five year olds. Ha Ha Ha. I can still run and I do know the basics of baseball. Seager was very impressed with the catchers mask and promptly volunteered to be catcher. This was the only picture I got and I was dodging raindrops to get this one.

According to Mamaw, who stayed over at 3 year old t-ball, Dagon was unimpressed and refused to "play ball". Honestly, I don't blame him. It was cold and raining and who wouldn't rather cuddle with their Mamaw than stand around in that kind of environment waiting for your turn? Tomorrow is round two, 40 degrees with the possibility of snow flurries. Not gonna happen. We will not even go to the park under those conditions. I do have my limits and besides, this is supposed to be fun. So, our venture into sports has been hampered by torrential rains and now global warming. Is it a sign?

So anyway, back to the celebration. Wednesday brings a gathering of Seager's friends at the "jumpy place". As you can tell by the sweaty hair and flushed faces, this activity was a huge success! No cake, no singing, just run, jump, run and jump some more!

Thursday was spent shopping for outfits for a long overdue photo session. Why can you never find what you are looking for when you need it. Anyway, we got the job done and Friday afternoon was spent at the photography studio. You will just have to wait to see those but I will give you a hint; it involved some cute fuzzy participants. I haven't seen the final results yet, but I think they will be great!

And the final climax to the frenzied week...20 adults and children at Los Reyes for the final fiesta! Now keep in mind, this was a party for the adults as well as the children. I only photographed the children because my brain was mush by that time. It was adults and adult beverages. I'm sure you can picture that in your mind.

Seager, Dagon & Sydney on the party deck pretending to be firefighters with a vacuum hose.

The kiddos preparing for the lighting of the cake. They were a bit concerned at the amount of cake they would receive,

but I did have cupcakes for everyone else. Seager was thrilled to have his own little cake... but I will have to say that in the future he will have to be wary. You better watch out Seager, never walk away from a cake or a girl! It would seem that your wingman might steal your cake and perhaps even your date when you're not looking!

So, that concludes the arrival of FIVE. The question seems to be why we have so many parties. And I say, well why not? You are only a little kid once and it's a good excuse to do fun things, eat cake, and do all of that with the people you love. How is that bad? Except for the fact that Mommy is exhausted beyond the point of a quick recuperation. Hence the post several days later. 2009 Birthday Season officially closed.

Now you can also understand why my last two Friday posts have been MIA. Believe me, it's not from lack of material, just lack of extra time and most importantly, energy.

Until Friday, or sooner perhaps, see ya!

Good for a Laugh

2009-03-20T01:30:00.001-04:00

This will perhaps be the most outrageous WTF post to date. Forget all this wealth envy - which I think is just getting ridiculous. Forget stupid people who fall skiing and choose to send the paramedics away and subsequently die - duh. Forget the fact that President TelePrompTer didn't realize for over 20 seconds that he was reading the wrong speech and thanked himself for "being there". Ooo, Ooo, I know! Let's make our brave Armed Service men and women pay for their own medical bills after getting blown up defending us all.....nope, forget that. How about the one where the two women get knocked up, each carrying the other woman's child, but to keep it "normal" they used the same sperm donor...nah. This is more weird than even that.

So with that set-up I shall reveal the insanity. You sure you can handle it? Wait...Wait...As of today, around noonish, I am officially a Soccer Mom. Good God in Heaven how could this happen you ask?

Those that know me well, know this might just tilt the Earth's axis and cause REAL global warming. But wait, it gets better...I'm also an assistant coach. WTF? This happened even though I absolutely, positively screamed a disclaimer that I knew virtually NOTHING about soccer. I even have a bright yellow shirt with "COACH" on the back. Quit your laughing! I can hear you all the way over here! Of course, Big Daddy has taken great pleasure in referring to me as Coach this evening.

Just for the record, this is Homeschool Soccer. We homeschoolers have our kids participate for exercise and social skills and as a bonus they get to learn to play soccer. It is very laid back, all run by volunteers and the kids have a blast. Just once per week, at 1:00 in the afternoon. No night games, practices, crazy sport deranged parents and no 8:00 a.m. Saturday mornings.

So there. Seager and Dagon were so excited to get new soccer balls and Seager even got special socks. He was so proud. Of course, I took pictures!

If you find yourself still stunned, get this, t-ball starts on the 31st. Just in time for Seager's big birthday celebration. So I guess you could say that the "ban" on sporty things for the boys has been lifted. I do reserve the right, however, to forever ban football. I have no intentions of ever changing that one. The times they are a changin' (in more ways than I would like.)

We also have big news for Big Daddy! He got himself a Blackberry and is slowly learning all it can do for him during his busy day. He loves it so far!

So there, I'm expecting some heckling and teasing. Go ahead, bring it on.

Happy Spring to you all! Pollen, Yea!

Thankful for my boys!

2009-03-06T02:22:00.001-05:00

I say it all the time...I'm so thankful I have boys! No girls for me. I don't think a girl would like me as a Mommy. I'm not sure when it happened but I've changed from a cool, hip kinda gal to a judgmental old fuddy duddy. Yep, that's me. I don't particularly like the world these young women are exposed to. They get bombarded every day with sex, sex and perfection. You have to be skinny, you have to be perfect. It's all an illusion on TV and in the magazines but try to explain that to an impressionable young girl. It's just reality to them. Then they are expected to be right the opposite. Abstinence, a positive self image, don't do this, don't wear that. I've seen what is in the stores. If I see one more thing Hanna Montanaized or High School Musicalized...aahhhhhhh! Then comes a new item,

Totally Stylin' Tattoo Barbie! Oh, great! Guess Barbie is having a hard time turning 50. It even comes with a tattoo gun for the little girls to create their own "stamp". Mattel wants to give girls the opportunity to "express themselves".

I have to admit, I am torn about this issue. It was very exciting as a little girl to get the prized tattoo in the cracker jack box; much more exciting than the plastic magnifying glass. But did that make me grow up wanting and/or needing a tattoo to make me feel good about myself? Nope, just a fond memory of a fun surprise.

My boys love temporary tattoos! We have bugs and super heroes and all sorts of things! That's how both my boys learned to count to 30! (It takes 30 seconds with a damp cloth to apply them.) I turned it into a homeschool learning tool. Will they want something permanent in a few years, I sure hope not.

So, should we be outraged or just resigned to the fact that society just accepts things like this? Are we all supposed to just accept people just as they are; multiple tattoos, piercings, obese/anorexic, inappropriate clothing and a sometimes total lack of any self-respect whatsoever? Anything goes, as long as it makes you happy? Where the hell do these people work besides hair salons and tattoo parlors? Would you hire someone with metal in their eyebrow, a stud in their tongue and 11 tattoos visible and hidden?

I guess I'll save my outrage for any future Barbie marketing ploys. Maybe Crack Ho' Barbie with her own crack pipe and Pimp Ken. Maybe Xanax Barbie with her pill bottle and pet chimp. Or perhaps Silicone Barbie with her DDD (not much of a stretch) fake boobs complete with nipple rings. Trannie Barbie? After all, who are we to judge? WTF?

Richard, A Guest Star Again

2009-02-27T00:07:00.000-05:00

I'm on my way out of town to bid farewell to a family member who has crossed to the other side and joins many others that have gone before her. I am sure she is quite happy to be "catching up" with everyone there. Enjoy it Aunt Wanda, you deserve it! We will miss you!

Meanwhile, back here in the world of insanity, Richard will enlighten us once again. Take it away, Richard...

The last depression lasted 12 years and only WW II was able to stop it. Our current man-made stalled economy will not recover with government bailouts alone. It takes a little less greed and thousands of businesses trusting that Washington is through meddling with our money.

Part of the problem is the refusal to let anyone discuss how we got into this mess. Those intellectuals that caused it are the ones in charge of the recovery proving that money alone will not solve the problem. The sad part is millions have lost their life's savings because one political party wanted to increase their voting base. As one bailout after another failed, businesses declared bankruptcy and unemployment rolls became the target politicians had to fix. Too many contributing constituents were caught in the net.

It would be nice to know that at some point government would cease throwing taxpayer money at a problem they created. How long the recovery will take is anyone's guess since the failed home mortgages are still bundled for auction at Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. No one seems to have the answer to that miscue.

Meanwhile, the decision has to be made whether or not this disaster will be a simple recession or go on to a full blown depression. Only the Federal Government can make that decision, depending on the amount of money wasted. People satisfied with driving our last president out of office with a low approval rating will find a host of problems with the NEW president they had not counted on. Global warming --- yeh, right --- , getting rid of fossil fuel products, and a multi-trillion debt with interest.

Eighth grade math will tell you it is impossible to equate the cost of two wars to the cost of imported oil at four times the amount. Printed money has a bad habit of causing inflation when printing is used to produce more money. Has anyone ever counted to a trillion? If you counted one number every second of time for forty years, you might make it. That doesn't account for food, bathroom breaks, sleeping etc.

There is one tidbit coming out of this $800 plus billion stimulus package, one taken from the Tom Dashle book on national health care. A new federal agency will be formed to administer to the entire population's medical records. Doctors will be required to submit medical treatments for a patient to this agency for approval --- the purpose is to determine if the service is cost effected. Senior citizen treatment and others with no hope of recovery will be refused treatment if the agency determines its guidelines dictate that decision. Come on people, doctors have too many bosses meddling in their practices now. They certainly don't need another one.

I sincerely hope that there is a misunderstanding to this latest agency and I have to immediately ask, what has this to do with returning citizens back to work.

Wrong on so many levels

2009-02-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

The examples of crazy just get more and more bizarre. We go from the OctoMom nut job story (which I called before her tell all interviews) to the latest sad, sad story...Travis and his violent death.

This is Travis and his story is so very sad on so many levels.

First off, what kind of person would sit for over 12 minutes and listen to the entire 911 tape of a hysterical woman pleading with authorities to bring a gun and shoot her live-in companion? Well, that would be me. Good grief, what does that say about me? Have we, as humans, completely lost all sense of reason, sanity, morals and common sense? Me included? (just the common sense part, not the reason, sanity and morals part).

Anyway, Travis had a good life, great actually. His human companion raised him from a newborn and treated him as any other family member. She fed him steak, lobster and ice cream. He could eat at the table, drink wine from a stemmed glass, use the toilet, and dress and bathe himself. He brushed his teeth with a Water Pik, logged on to a computer to look at photos and channel-surfed television with the remote control. She even made him a TV star! Sounds like a life of luxury for lucky Travis. After Sandra, his loving companion, lost her husband and daughter, Travis was there for her. He even slept with her...he's 200 pounds.

Now I'm sure there are women out there who would be so lucky to have a husband half as good or as smart as that (I'm not referring to anyone I know, of course) but it's still a little wonky to me. So, here is Travis, living the good life until something goes horribly wrong. He had health problems, was a little anxious and Sandra just wanted to help. Here ya go honey, sip this tea laced with Xanax. You'll calm right down.

Fast forward to all hell breaking loose, a friend is called to help. Friend arrives and ..well you've heard the rest. I doubt you heard what I did on the tape, but you got the jist of it.

I guess what was so sad to me was the way poor Travis had to die. I'm not saying he shouldn't have been killed but...

he was given a mind altering drug

approached by a strange woman with Elmo

while attacking said woman and Elmo he was stabbed by Sandra (his adoptive Mother) and beaten with a shovel

police arrive and he is shot several times

and poor Travis, still not dead, (why the police couldn't get that done I just don't understand) wanders back into his home and crawls into his bed to die, alone, bleeding and confused.

And you're thinking, why isn't she sad about the woman who had her hands ripped off and her face chewed off and will suffer miserably for the rest of her life. I am sorry for her, BUT the level of stupidity on the part of these two women dulls my sympathy for them both.

Sandra admitted that one day Travis would be too aggressive to live with her. If you are stupid enough to have a wild animal SLEEPING WITH YOU, then wouldn't you have a gun with a tranquilizer dart at the very least? This woman screamed and begged to 911 for 12 minutes to "bring a gun!" "shoot him!" over and over and over as she watched him mutilate her friend. She has now denied giving the Xanax and has stated that is was just a horrible freak tragedy. You got that right, lady; you are truly a freak and your faceless and handless friend is an awful tragedy. WTF.

Then this... I don't even have words! Well, I do, but this was supposed to be a non-political story.

The Littlest Maxwell Celebrates

2009-02-15T20:09:00.000-05:00

Three years ago today at 8:14 p.m., we welcomed our sweet Dagon into the family and we haven't been the same since! To acknowledge this most special event, we have spent our weekend celebrating with friends and family. I have received numerous kisses and hugs from the birthday boy stating that he had a wonderful birthday. Pictures????? Of course!

We begin, as always, at Los Reyes for the initial celebration. It was a big event with several friends and Mamaw in attendance.

Dagon gets some extra help from big brother...

and a toy inspection from Mya and some other helpers! After a good dose of pure sugar...

Dagon ended his evening getting scanned by his new robot!

Fast forward to the big day...Dagon gets a visit from his Papoo, Aunt Katrina, Aunt Lori, his cousins Brooklyn and Josh, and Mamaw (still in attendance). Big Daddy smoked some pig on Saturday and we enjoyed BBQ sandwiches for lunch. Then it was time for the big event!

Woo Hoo...I'm gonna get my wish this year!

He received a new computer school keyboard and software, phonics schoolbooks, a hot potato and no birthday is complete for a little boy without the cheesy plastic laser gun and sword that lights up and makes lots of noise. Notice Seager eyeballing those and planning his cosmic takeover of the weaponry!

And of course, the last dose of pure sugar! Sadly, poor Dagon is destined for a lifetime of birthday pictures with a pink face. It's just too hard to pass up all the half price Valentine Cupcakes!

Happy Birthday Dagon from your very frugal parents, family and cherished friends!

and from us to all of you...

Happy Valentine's Day!

we really enjoyed the cupcakes and candy you didn't buy!

Outrage for the Innocents

2009-02-06T01:34:00.001-05:00

I'm sure you've heard the story. It started out like such a surprise...a miracle, "mother gives birth to eight babies". Then the real story starts to emerge. Little tidbits of information come forth. Just small details: Mom is divorced and single, suffers from depression, lives with parents on disability, in a small three bedroom home, has six other kids, one is autistic, and they are all under the age of 7. Just details. Then one more tiny detail... all created by invitro. Huh???? WTF!!!!????

You scratch your head and start thinking this thing through. Who the hell in their right mind would do such a thing? Who the hell in their right mind would allow such a thing? What doctor in their right mind would agree to facilitate such a thing? What idiot would donate the bodily fluids for such a thing?

Then the publicist starts talking about how wonderful and bright and "motherly" this woman is. She's smart, (papered) in child development...working on her Masters. A lovely woman that just wants to tell her story. She has had soooo many offers of TV shows and books and appearances. All of which should be filmed FROM THE DAMN MENTAL INSTITUTE!

Okay, personally, I don't give a rat's ass about this woman. In fact, the world would be a better place without her batshit crazy self in it. Harsh you say? Tell that to all eight of these innocent human beings who will now spend the rest of their life with numerous disabilities - physical and mental, little time being held and cuddled, little bonding with one insane parent, sharing a bedroom with 8,9,10, 14 other needy siblings and tolerating the rest of the world who will exploit them from their first (medically assisted) breath until the day they die. Now how is that for harsh. My heart aches to think of these tiny little babies and what a crappy family they chose to join. I can only hope they had a reason for coming into such a train wreck of a life. Perhaps one will cure cancer and another will be a great leader. However, if the gene pool is any indication, we might not get much from this group. Sigh.

I just happened to flip on O'Reilly last night while I brushed my teeth. Apparently, I'm not the only one who is just enraged about this situation.

I think he is right on target. Anybody want to challenge me on this one....come on....let's hear some other opinions!

The Crisis...by Richard

2009-02-06T01:32:00.002-05:00

I am pleased to say that we have a guest writer! My good friend has prepared this insightful post and I hope you will take the time to read it. He knows what he's talking about! Take it away...Richard

The current economic crisis and deep recession are not the fault of the Republicans. Nor is it the fault of banking executives asking to do away with banking regulations.
The Clinton campaign slogan "It's the economy stupid," left me wondering what he intended to do to an economy that was in pretty good shape. That question has been answered. HE DESTROYED IT!
Clinton stated that credit standards were de facto profiling and set about lobbying Congress to reorganize the very basis of financial enterprise by lowering standards across the board for measuring creditworthiness. Congress placed the most at-risk segment of our population in greater peril by encouraging the packaging of mortgage paper into investment bundles that remove single lien holders with power to deal with delinquency from the marketplace. The replacement committees of thousands of investors could not act to address problems. The guild of "growing the economy" by destroying the control mechanisms long respected by producers, merchants and consumers is the Clinton plan that the 1998 Democrat-controlled Congress turned into the piece of work that brought us to calamity.
President Bush fought for a return to sensible lending practices from his first day in office, but he was branded an "idiot" by people who paid no attention to the now obvious peril spawned by the charismatic charlatan who preceded him - people who gladly cursed the President who tried to save them. The bankers could follow the rules or drink hemlock. We are in this mess because we bought into the Clinton myth without examining the consequences.
Following World War II, we rode a wave of optimistic prosperity. Keeping up with the Joneses required a new car every three years. The new car had to have innovations for our comfort and safety, do-dads for social climbing, and increased power. Cars and toasters became disposable. In 1970, a six year old car brought just 10 percent of it's original retail value. The Big Three suffered no demand for, and thus had no incentive to build economic durability. The rest of the world had not the means to replace a vehicle on a whim and the goal of the foreign auto makers became economic longevity. It is no miracle that a 20 year old Subaru gets 30 miles per gallon and is road worthy after 4000,000 miles. It is no wonder that the Big Three did not produce its equal given the American penchant for power, show and waste.
The gas crunch of the mid seventies slapped us to attention but we soon returned to our demand for whimsical satisfaction. The Big Three did, in fact, give us what we ask for: Eleven cup holders, six power ports, back seat entertainment centers, electronics to tell us where we are and want to be, closed circuit TV systems to show us where we've been, and the gas guzzling power to haul it around.
We bought into the American dream at a level we could not afford and bankers were forced to provide the credit we demanded or run the risk of prosecution on trumped up charges. There was no one in the American marketplace who forced us to forfeit earnings to buy perishables. We signed on the dotted line because our greed couldn't stand the thought that someone else had more toys than us. If there was a villain, separate from the miscreants of 1998, it was those among us who continued to live as if there was no tomorrow. It was those of us who returned incompetent schemers to congress who refused the concept of personal responsibility. It was people preaching resistance to Bush's efforts to return us to sensibleness. Now we all suffer for their having committed us to a trip through yesterday's pleasures paid for with tomorrow's dollars.
No President, no Congress, no dream can undo the mess we're in. We need a nation to forsake "we need what we want" ambitions and embrace a more realistic "let us WORK for what we need " attitude.

Pass the Porkchops

2009-01-30T01:18:00.001-05:00

Liar, Liar pants on fire! Lookie Lookie here what folks have found in the Stimulus Bill...

400 million - global warming research

2.4 Billion - carbon-capture demonstration projects

1.5 Billion - carbon capturing contest

4.5 Billion - to make military facilities more energy efficient

200 million - for Department of Defense to acquire alternative energy vehicles

200 million - for DOD to add plug-in car stations for above vehicles

600 million - new government cars

32 Billion - for a "smart electricity grid" to reduce waste

1.5 Billion - to construct "green schools"

10 million - bike and walking trails

850 million - to prevent forest fires

200 million - new sod for the National Mall in DC

50 million - to NASA for storm damage repairs

572 million - to Coast Guard to create 1,235 new jobs which equals out to $460,000 per job creation

150 million - to Smithsonian

1 Billion - to Amtrak which hasn't turned a profit in 40 years

50 million - to the National Endowment for the Arts

4 Billion - to ACORN

462 million - to CDC for equipment and renovations

66 Billion - to education with this stipulation..."No recipient shall use such funds to provide financial assistance for students to attend private elementary or secondary schools." Only government schools apply

1 Billion - for the 2010 census

245 million - tax breaks for big budget movie investors aka Hollyweird

650 million - for more digital TV conversion coupons

2.8 Billion - for rural broadband projects

335 million - for STD education & prevention

400 million - for HIV and chlamydia testing

75 million - for smoking cessation

420 million - to combat avian flu

1.5 Billion - for homelessness prevention activities

252 Billion - in income transfer payments - you know this as income redistribution or welfare

and last but not least (I just got tired of making the list)

227 million - for oversight of the pork barrel spending in the stimulus.

Now are you pissed off...what's it gonna take????

The House voted no on this crap. Now it's off to the Senators. You can make a difference!

Click on this link

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm?State=GA

Pick your Senators and click on the Web form link. It takes you to a fill in the blank and bitch form. FILL IT OUT! It will take 3 minutes tops. Send them the message that you are pissed and you aren't gonna take it anymore. There are at least 57 million of us who didn't want this administration and I would assume that not all who voted for Obama are on board for this kind of idiocy. That means 60 million+. WTF? Where is the outcry? Good God... take some control and make your voice heard!

You can now go back to searching for recipes, American Idol rejects, kittens on You Tube or whatever else is more important to you than making your voice heard.

Thank you and good night.

Historic Days

2009-01-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

In a historic turn of events, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count our blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.

Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of it's forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets.

Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place when this man takes up residency in this house.

This man, moving into this house, at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of address for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character".

There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be many times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly.

But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake - because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I am thankful that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.

Who is this man? you ask...

Keep going....

Giggle - snort - you thought I'd started drinking the Kool-aid, didn't you????

This WTF credit actually goes to Lycia! Thanks for the forward, I enjoyed it immensely!

I could, but I won't!

2009-01-09T00:01:00.000-05:00

Yes, I could just ignore PEBO's little speech this morning...BUT I WILL NOT...and neither should you.

This guy has really got some balls. HE IS NOT THE PRESIDENT, yet. So where does he get off calling press conferences and acting as if he is? Even the media that is in lust/love with the man admits that his Transition has been grossly over played and "in your face" than any in our country's history. Not to mention the arrogance of creating this fake seal...

But back to the speech. And it was a speech as only he can deliver. As always, he says things that no one can disagree with. At that point, even someone like me, can get sucked in. Things like...

This crisis did not happen solely by some accident of history or normal turn of the business cycle, and we won’t get out of it by simply waiting for a better day to come, or relying on the worn-out dogmas of the past. We arrived at this point due to an era of profound irresponsibility that stretched from corporate boardrooms to the halls of power in Washington, DC. For years, too many Wall Street executives made imprudent and dangerous decisions, seeking profits with too little regard for risk, too little regulatory scrutiny, and too little accountability. Banks made loans without concern for whether borrowers could repay them, and some borrowers took advantage of cheap credit to take on debt they couldn’t afford. Politicians spent taxpayer money without wisdom or discipline, and too often focused on scoring political points instead of the problems they were sent here to solve. The result has been a devastating loss of trust and confidence in our economy, our financial markets, and our government.

You start thinking, "maybe he does get it". Then as you listen and he unfolds his plan to fix said problem, the uncomfortable feeling of WTF sinks in. Things like...

It is true that we cannot depend on government alone to create jobs or long-term growth, but at this particular moment, only government can provide the short-term boost necessary to lift us from a recession this deep and severe. Only government can break the vicious cycles that are crippling our economy – where a lack of spending leads to lost jobs which leads to even less spending; where an inability to lend and borrow stops growth and leads to even less credit.

Only government?! WTF? And herein lies the sole reason that every conservative, independent individual completely and utterly distrusts this man. He is a socialist, pure and simple. We are not a great country because of our government, we are a great country in spite of our government. We have succeeded for the past 233 years because of the hard work of our people and the sacrifices of our military and their families who risk everything to defend it, not our government.

He preaches dire gloom and doom. Circumstances that only One Trillion dollars can fix. Nevermind that we don't have a spare trillion...we'll just print it up. Good God, this is total insanity. Forgive me if I'm a little afraid, but the people who have come up with this brilliant stimulus plan are the same folks who got us into this mess. History tells us that this just doesn't work.

In 2004, two UCLA economists said they figured out why the Great Depression dragged on for almost 15 years, and they blamed a suspect previously thought to be beyond reproach: President Franklin D. Roosevelt. After studying the policies implemented by FDR they had this to say "The economy was poised for a beautiful recovery, but that recovery was stalled by misguided policies.” “Ironically, our work shows that the recovery would have been very rapid had the government not intervened.” “We found that a depression relapse isn’t likely unless lawmakers gum up a recovery with ill-conceived stimulus policies.” History is a powerful tool. There is a famous quote... “Those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them.”

I challenge you to come up with one thing that the Government is good at. Come on...what program, plan or policy has been wildly successful and has come in under budget. None. Everyone knows that anything involving government costs 10 times more than using the private sector. Why then, should we believe that the almighty government best knows how to spend all this money they are printing up.

There is a plan out there. How about a tax holiday. You keep all the money you earn for 3, 6, 9 months, hell, let's just make it a year. It's still better than printing up a trillion! Do you think if every American got to keep all their salary for the next few months that it would boost our economy? I doubt everyone would stick that extra cash under the mattress. Nope, they would buy stuff, pay off credit cards, have a down payment for a house, and take vacations. Would all these things stimulate the economy...hell yes! But you see, in a Socialist environment, Only The Government knows how best to spend YOUR money, NOT YOU. Mr. Obama is using our slumping economy to fulfill all his campaign promises, dreams and more. Will you just sit by and let him do it? There are alot more of us than of them. Whatta ya say? If you sit by silently, what kind of country will we be creating for our kids. It sure won't be one that we will recognize. WTF.

On another note...Does anyone know where Biden is? They must have him locked away somewhere. Troubling and much less entertaining. WTF.

I had a dream...

2009-01-05T14:23:00.001-05:00

This dream was so odd I have to share. Guess who I had lunch with?...Obama! I was asking all kinds of questions and getting standard answers. I only remember two questions I asked.

The first was what he planned to do about the millions of people that wanted to know the truth about UFO's. I got a chuckle and a smirk. I told him I wasn't a nut job but I don't think he believed me.

The second question was this; when you first sat down with President Bush and he started filling you in on all the crap that nobody knows about what was the most surprising thing he told you? Just as he started to answer, some people arrived and said he had to go.

At that point I realized my wallet was missing. I had my purse, but my wallet was missing. I was asking everyone at the table to help me look. I knew I had it when I had to show ID for approval to be in the presence of Him. As dreams sometimes do, everything shifted and my focus was an all out desperate search for my wallet. Running around the room and asking everyone to help. I don't remember anything after that, guess I woke up.

So, as I went about my morning insanity this dream was quite vivid in my mind. It was not the fade away, can't remember any of it, kind of dream. Then the hysterical part dawned on me, did you get it????

My wallet was missing! That's where I keep my money, as does everyone else. You could just chalk it up to a weird random thing but I think my subconscious is quite disturbed. My money is disappearing and I can't get a straight answer about anything.

It's going to be a long 4 years. I can't even escape Him in my usually lovely dream state. Damn. Just Damn.

Economy 101

2009-01-04T23:16:00.001-05:00

Confused about all the bailouts? Wondering how we got into this mess? Take a few minutes and watch this. Fred is able to explain it all in easy to understand language...you know...for us common folks.

Back to Reality...

2009-01-04T22:14:00.001-05:00

It's over! The insanity is over. Unfortunately, the post-Christmas elves have failed to show up and pack away all this festive stuff. Guess I'll have to do it again. No complaints here though, we just spent 5 days at Mexico Beach with pretty decent weather. Joe and I both wrapped up 2008 with a massage on the beach, some great seafood and the boys swam, ran on the beach and swam some more. We rang in the new year with great friends and high hopes. It's always good to end one year and start a new one on a beachy note!

Speaking of beachy... we hope you enjoyed the Christmas card. What you don't know is how many pictures it takes to get one or two that are "acceptable", or if you get lucky, you have so many good shots that there are lots of left-overs. Aunt Lori has compiled the extras into a slide show for you all. As usual, her talents are amazing and we appreciate all her efforts... Enjoy!

Thank you to all who sent us cards, pictures and 2008 update letters! It's so exciting to hear of the wonderful accomplishments and milestones from all of you! I had to add several names to the list this year and didn't delete any! Guess that's pretty lucky to have had a year where you added friends and didn't lose anyone you care about.

We had a fun Christmas but didn't take many pictures. We just enjoyed it without the pressure of capturing every second on some sort of digital format. There were a couple of hysterical moments at Mamaw's on Christmas Eve, pictures were taken. It was a Muslim Moment for sure and if I get those shots I will be sure to share them. It was one of those moments that the picture is worth more than a thousand ~~virgins~~ words!

Since it is now 2009, I guess it's time to rev up the resolutions. Since I did so well last year, I am under extreme pressure to be just as successful this year. I hope to lose some pounds and inches but I know this will involve a good bit of movement on my part. There is only so much food you can eliminate and since that hasn't seemed to work, my only option is to get moving. This is going to be tough and I'd like to get'r done before May...double tough. Any words of encouragement or suggestions for a magic diet pill would be welcome.

Well, so far the 2009 blog is crap. As I read back what I've just written, it's...well crap. There's no humor or clever stories. Sorry. I'll try to do better next time. My mind seems to be boggled up with all the things I want to do, need to do and have to do. I think my first task will be putting those in the proper order... have to do, need to do and want to do. I guess I better make a list and get busy.

I hope you all had a safe and Happy New Year and here's hoping for a 2009 that is better than expected and more than we wish for. Good Luck with that!

Can you say Brood Mare?

2008-12-05T01:22:00.001-05:00

Okay Boys and Girls, fasten your seatbelts cause I feel a rant comin' on and it ain't gonna be pretty. If you are a liberal, bed-wetting puss who sees good in everybody, better click off now...consider yourself warned.

I'd like to introduce you to Latrica Ryan who lives in Flint, Michigan. Latrica is a 29-year-old single stay-at-home mother of five sons and five daughters, who range in age from 2 months to 13 years.

The lovely RoNeisha Mullen, star reporter at the Flint Journal, has brought us this heartbreaking story about Latrica's plight. It would seem that Latrica desperately needs a washer and dryer. She also has severe transportation woes but transportation isn't the only issue Ryan has to deal with. She sometimes needs help providing her children with clothes and food. With the help of FACED Corporation, she is able to ensure that her kids' basic needs are met. The faith based agency has helped Ryan clothe and feed her children, as well as pay utility bills FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. WTF??!! Why didn't they clue in after the first couple of years? Clearly FACED needs some counseling of their own.

If you would like the link

http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/index.ssf/2008/11/flint_mother_latrica_ryan_of_1.html

As engaging as this article was, the comments from the readers were the highlight. The outrage was understandable and vicious. Suggestions were as simple as "get a job", "get off your back and on your feet", "have someone sew that thing up" (my personal favorite), and a simple "stop having sex". And then there were the nut cases who actually defended this parasite. Statements like "we don't know the whole story" and "maybe she was raped"...I'm not kidding...this is the mentality of your typical left wing idiot. Raped???!!! 10 TIMES? OMG!!!!! At this point I am hysterically laughing and then came the ultimate, and I quote, "Maybe now that Obama will be our president, it might be what will help this woman and her children!!" You knew it was coming, I know you did.

Another kind hearted soul had this to say "look at them faces, I see a doctor, lawyer, pro football player, computer tech, nurse, mayor, store clerk, engineer and a police officer." Yeah Right. Want to know what I see? Five young girls who will be knocked up before they are 16. A drug dealer, crack head, five baby daddys and several cell mates. Even though Latrica claims that six of her chiren are on the honor roll, how can we expect them to break out of the horror she has created for them. If she is their only role model, where do they get the desire to see the world any different, get off their ass, get a job, be responsible, keep their dick in their saggy pants, and contribute to society instead of leech off those of us who choose a better life.

Did the FACED charity ever consider taking her fertile ass down to the free clinic for a birth control shot, IUD, or a tubiligation. Everyone screws (up) once, but how about after the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th etc. do you think someone could have counseled her on how to close her legs instead of giving her diapers. And the biggest question of all, who are the baby daddys? Where are these low-life thugs? One guy commented that he actually researched and found two in prison. Why is our society so hell bent on enabling women like this and allowing the men to get away with creating the problem and walking away? WTF? WTF? WTF?

On a happy note, the local radio station there in Flint showcased this sad tale and someone has donated a washer and dryer. Oh thank God. Having to go to the laundrymat really takes up alot of time and effort that could be better spent lying on one's back with their legs in the air. This is not a racial issue, it is a cultural one. The black race tries to blame all these issues on the color of their skin. Guess what, it's not about color, it's about culture. Now that Obama has shattered the race issue let's see if he, the Messiah, can convince those in the black race that their actions, not their skin color, is what is now holding them back.

Okay, I could go on and on and on about this subject but I won't. Will things change? No way in hell or at least not until the Conservatives of this country stand up and fight. Even then, it's too far gone. This problem will only get worse as long as the people getting outrageous assistance are allowed to vote for the people giving them the outrageous assistance. Sigh and WTF. I did warn you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T23:27:00.001-05:00

Happy Turkey day from the Maxwells! This is our 5th annual trip and we are in sunny Panama City Beach enjoying sand, surf, swimming and good food. It was cooler than we normally enjoy this time of year (damn global warming) but today was absolutely perfect and we spent the entire afternoon on the beach.

We wish you all could have enjoyed this day with us. We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving Buffet within walking distance of our building. We ate and were oceanside by 1:00... no cooking - no dishes, I'm telling you it's the way to go!

Not much more to tell than that. Yes, in case you are wondering, we had a very successful Christmas photo session and your Holiday Greeting will arrive in a couple of weeks. For now I will share the Thanksgiving shots. We have a new Maxwell who will be with us for all future Thanksgiving trips. His name is Tom and he seemed to really enjoy today.

Tom loves his new brothers

and Big Daddy too!

We witnessed a beautiful sunset...

and headed in to the pool and Bath Tub (Dagon's term for the hot tub). Seager is appropriately wearing his "gobbles" (his term for goggles).

We are so thankful for such a beautiful day and I am thankful that you take the time to visit my blog and take a glimpse into our life and into my sometimes twisted mind. We are very blessed with wonderful family and friends. I hope you all had a very wonderful Thanksgiving, you didn't eat too much, your team won and you find lots of bargains tomorrow if you are crazy enough to torture yourself in such a manner. All our love...

Oh, by the way, guess who we saw here at the beach...

If you are looking for my normal Friday post...I do have this to say - given all the recent appointments for the incoming Presidential administration, I think we should just refer to it as the OBillary Administration. I guess it's a change back. If nothing else, it should be entertaining to watch.

Pass the Peanuts

2008-11-21T10:57:00.001-05:00

This just in...the American Auto makers are in trouble. Well I just can't imagine why. Their cars SUCK! I guess that is beside the point. So what's a business man to do in desperate times...I know, we'll beg. Lets go down to Washington DC and beg for billions. Never mind that we have no idea how to run a company, build a quality product and our Unions are sucking us dry. We'll just beg. Now this in itself is a flaming WTF moment, BUT, IT GETS BETTER!

How will we get down to Washington, boys? Well we could drive a Suburban, nah drinks too much gas. Lets take the Town & Country Minivan, uuhh not sure about the transmission on that one. OK, OK we'll just float down there in a Crown Vic! OOOOhhhh, bad idea, might get carjacked down there in DC. What to do, what to do. Let's call Delta...nope, we might be allergic to peanuts...just can't risk it. Let's just take the jet, no, not one, lets just take all three. And so they did. WTF? That's like showing up to Hosea Williams' feed the hungry Thanksgiving dinner in a stretch Hummer, wearing a tux and asking for a plate of food!

GM guy, Rick Wagoner's private jet trip to Washington cost an estimated $20,000 roundtrip. Commercial flights were going online for $288 coach and $837 first class. Ford has a fleet of eight corporate jets flying around the world. In fact, Ford CEO, Alan Mulally's corporate jet (one of a fleet of eight) is a perk included for both he and his wife. You see, Mulally actually lives in Seattle, not Detroit. The company jet takes him home and back on weekends. Can you blame him? Who the hell would want to live in Detroit?

I am not a wealth envy hack. I do not begrudge the high CEO salaries because it's a tough job and they've worked their way up to it. BUT, when you have continually made bad decisions, over many many years, and have driven your industry into ruin, I say tough shit. And if you are coming to us, the taxpayers, to bail your sorry asses out, the least you can do is fly commercial with us, screaming babies, germs, peanuts and all. WTF?

Important Travel Information

2008-11-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

I'm lazy tonight so you are just gonna get some handy tips when traveling with your wife, husband, lover, significant other, cousin (ewwww), pet porcupine or concubine. I'm sure there are many others but I found this list intact and that's pretty much all you're getting out of me tonight.

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.

2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on.

3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse.

4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.

5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.

6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.

7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.

10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.

I also found this... I just couldn't stop myself from posting it. It's just the beginning folks.

Landslide? I think not.

2008-11-06T22:58:00.006-05:00

I have struggled for the past two days on how to approach my post election blog entry. I still don't have a "theme" as I normally do. My emotions are all over the place and hard to get from my head and heart onto the page. Since I only have about 45 more minutes until it's officially WTF Friday I guess I will just jump in and start typing. If I start to ramble, just click away to something else and visit again next week.

Hint: Any future references to the media will now be Omedia. They have earned this title one hundred fold. I will continue now.

The Omedia keeps referring to the Democratic win as a landslide. I am sure that the 57 million people who voted against the Democrats take offense to that statement. I do. I don't think a difference of 5% equals a landslide. So, even though not a landslide, I am thankful that there was a clear winner. The reason why this matters you ask? Because of the "lets come together and unite" message.

This country has been torn apart these past 8 years and it began with the 2000 election. Bush did win that election, fair and square, but the other side just couldn't live with it. They ridiculed the man from before day one. Even a terror attack on our soil couldn't shut them up. Where was all the unity then? Why is it so important now, but wasn't then? If unity is all we needed to make America great why wasn't everyone holding hands and singing?

I hated the Bush bashing and Obama will be my President without any unwarranted abuse. I will, however, continue to watch him like a hawk. He does not represent my views and hopes for us as a people and a country and I will bitch loudly regarding anything I don't agree with.

I have a feeling that there will be some buyer's remorse from some who chose a Socialist over someone who I think genuinely wanted to try to clean up the mess in Washington. I have a great feeling of uneasiness on several fronts but just don't have the energy to address these things now. I really haven't been sleeping well. I hope that this uneasiness subsides as I wean myself from all the political crap. I will continue to pay attention to my gut feeling that there is just something not quite right about Mr. Obama.

He made history as the first MIXED RACED Amercian. No one will ever take that distinction from him. The fact that he is half-white seems to have been ignored. He ran a smart and brilliant campaign and won because of it and the Omedia failing or refusing to research him. I can understand why black Amercians are excited. I only wish that I could have been a supporter of this historic achievement but I chose to base my vote on issues instead of color.

Finally, I can honestly say that I am very happy that my boys are learning safely at home with me and not in the government school system that will most certainly not improve and may actually get further radicalized under a radical Socialist regime. Think I'm nuts? You research what he did in the Chicago area regarding schools, who he did it with and who he has in mind to help him in his administration in the education arena. If you get scared I have lots of homeschool resources I will gladly share.

That's it for now. I will get back to some fun WTF posts as next week. Send some suggestions!

PS: I came across this comment from some lovely person regarding the First Dog biting a member of the Omedia (way to go Barney!). The idiocy, grammer and typos were copied directly.

Today, at approximately 11am, Fox News reporter John Decker was walking across the White House lawn. He saw George W. Bush's dog, Barney, walking across the lawn. John leaned over to pet Barney, and Barney bit his index finger. This is rediculous! He had to be treated by the White House doctor.George W. Bush should be ashamed of himself for having his dog attack a reporter just because he lost the presidential race. What ever happend to losing gracefully? Thank God for Barack Obama! I heard he will be giving his daughters a new dog to have in the White House. Although, unlike with George Bush, reporters will be able to access the White House without fear of being attacked by the president's dog. We all know Obama will teach his dog some manners! It's about time we had some change after 8 terms of Republican rule! They are not smart enough to be running this country. Under this new president, we will know longer have these terrible incidents. I hope Mr. Decker sews George W. Bush for all he is worth. Every penny of his oil fortune he's made while in the White House. George W. Bush is a terrible man, and this is just further evidence. No decent person has there dog attack someone.